Flat-earther Drives Off The End Of The World

Tim's proof that earth is flat.
Tim’s proof that earth is flat.

Nevada City, CA — A new debate is raging within the pages of Facebook, is earth flat or round? You may have thought that science settled the argument in the middle ages, but today’s self-made scientists disagree.

Tim Monroe, self-proclaimed “citizen scientist” does not understand how true scientists can possibly believe that the world is round. He believes that photos released by NASA are fakes made to fool the public.

Tom recently put his money where his mouth is. He has vowed to drive off the end of the earth to prove that the earth is indeed flat. At last check, Tim was still driving and was somewhere in Nevada.

Mr. Monroe spoke with Gish Gallop regarding his beliefs.

“I cannot believe people have not woken up to the true reality, not the government manufactured reality,” exclaimed Tim. “The earth is a floating flat rock, just like the asteroids tumbling in space. Except the earth is hollow, why else would it make a sound when you knock on the ground. Explain that science!”

Scientist Rachel English does not agree, she spoke to Gish Gallop regarding Tim’s statement.

“Who the hell is that idiot? Did his Mom drop him on his head as a child,” said a frustrated Rachel. “Look, science has PROVEN over and over the earth is round and solid. Why would the government cover it up if it were flat?”

We reached out to NASA for a statement, they said that they would not dignify our questions with a response.

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Cleveland Sam
Cleveland Sam, born Sam C. Sharpe, is a hero, a hero to anyone who knows him in Ohio. At the mere age of 7, he rescued a small girl from the clutches of a herd of llamas outside his boyhood home of Cleveland, OH. By the age of 12, he had already rescued over 14 children from near deaths ranging from freak ice cream truck accidents, to drownings in neighbors' Dough Boy Pools. But his heroism didn't stop at youth. No sir. As a teenager, he saved the entire cheerleading squad of his local high school from certain death with their "party van" caught fire during a local "rager." He writes for Gish Gallop because he feels he needs to rescue it. He's probably correct.