Orlando, FL — A team of University of Florida researchers led by esteemed Bio-Archaeologist Dr. Mark Todd Davis have discovered what they believe is the world’s first and only natural fluoride spring out side the Orlando city limits. The true nature of the spring, which has been rumored to exist for centuries as a part of Native American Seminole folklore, remained undiscovered up until this week.
“People said we were crazy and the university initially told us no,” said Professor Davis outside is Gainesville office. “But I have my hands on Ponce de León’s diary and notes from what he called La Florida in 1524. When I showed this to the Provost, he couldn’t help but fund the expedition. And what we found was nothing short of amazing.”
According to a 534 page report filed by Dr. Davis’ team and released to the Orlando Sentinel this week, it appears that there was a “fountain of youth” in Florida which New World explorer de León sought. Of sorts. However the fountain of Seminole legend was actually a naturally occurring, bubbling fluoride pond with contains over 93% of the inorganic, monatomic anion, 5% water and currently just under 2% automobile lubricants.
“Well it explains a lot,” continued Professor Davis. “Word of something like this pond, which by the way the Seminoles called Oklane Ooki or yellow water, would have traveled wide and far. Especially due to the healing powers of fluoride. It also explains why Seminoles has perfect teeth and it was said that their children could lift a full-grown hog over their heads. Well, by the time stories like this got to de León in Puerto Rico, it probably sounded more like what we know of as the fountain of youth.”
What’s most remarkable about this find is how relatively uncommon its location is. The pond is located just southwest of Orlando on Interstate 4 just before the Florida turnpike. It’s been used for years as a retention reservoir for freeway runoff. However despite decades of pollution, the water is not only safe to drink, but still maintains is remarkable healing qualities.
“I’ve been drinking out of that pond for years,” said Orlando resident Wendy Michel who lives in nearby Everglades Ease Mobile Home Park and was enjoying a Pall Mall cigarette. “And just look at these teeth. I’m 69 years old and not one cavity. These are all my teeth. It’s been harder to get at the water since they fenced it off, I dunno, some 15 years ago, but we manage. I think that water has added years onto my life.” The pond is currently on FDOT (Florida Department of Transportation) land and is surrounded by high fencing with razor wire.
As for Dr. Davis, he thinks this is just the beginning.
“Well, we’re investigating other ponds in the area,” continued a beaming Professor Davis. “It doesn’t take a PhD to deduce that such high concentrations of fluoride should be elsewhere in the area. We expect to find many more over the next few months.”