New York, NY — Former two-term President Bill Clinton mentioned late Tuesday night that he might consider becoming a woman. Speaking in front of the Alliance of Middle-Eastern Energy Conference or AMEEC in Dubai, Mr. Clinton made the announcement to a startled audience in the Muslim county.
Although the former US President was clear this was “just an idea” he was considering to help shore up the Left-wing of the Democratic Party, it still shocked the mostly conservative members of the audience.
“We are big supporters of the Clintons, and always have been, ” said a concerned Adel al-Jubeir the spokesman for the Royal Saudi House of Saud, the largest single contributor to the Clinton Foundation coming in at almost 25 million dollars. “We think we understand his pragmatic reasoning, but it’s not something he should have said in the Middle East. It’s about the wielding of power and the greater good.”
According to sources close to the Clinton Campaign, the shrewd “trial balloon” floated by the Mr. Clinton was backed by a three-month Rundex Family Foundation study that showed 56% of Americans would be open to have the nation run by its first lesbian couple. The study surveyed 26,331 people, and has a margin of error rate of 1.9% and a standard deviation of 0.51.
“Well, I usually don’t like to comment on our studies, as I leave that up to the marketing people,” said a reserved Rundex Family Foundation researcher Robert Colvin, “but the numbers here are pretty convincing. America is ready for a lesbian First Couple. And given recent media reports on the subject, it seems intuitively correct. Interestingly, the studies shows that only 15% of Americans would accept a male same-sex first couple. The number rises slightly to 18% if Presidential Candidate and war-monger Senator Lindsey Graham is mentioned.”
As for Hillary Clinton for 2016 Presidental campaign, her spokeswoman had this to say.
“President Clinton has worked tirelessly for not only the betterment of America, but for the world as a whole,” said Clinton spokeswoman Bethany Millbright. “I’d like to remind the press corp that this was just an idea Mr. Clinton had on stage in Dubai, and he has not made any formal announcement. But we’d like the Progressive Wing of the Democratic Party to acknowledge his attempts to reach out.”
In related news, 2028 Presidential hopeful Chelsea Clinton is already covering her father’s actions. Along with her $800K multi-year contract with the E! Entertainment Network, she hopes to provide an intimate insider’s view of her father’s transformation, that is, if it ever happens.