Ghost Pepper Challenge Cheetos Promise “Ass Fire Hot” Experience

Frito-Lay brand snacks has declared their trial run of Ghost Pepper Challenge Cheetos a success.
Frito-Lay brand snacks has declared their trial run of Ghost Pepper Challenge Cheetos a success.

Plano, TX — Frito Lay, the makers of the popular Cheetos brand cheese snack,  announced that trial runs of the Ghost Pepper Challenge version of the snack food has been a massive success. The product was released in select regional markets including Fresno, San Antonio, Madison, and Asheville and all stock of the trial run were sold out within 72 hours.

“We got in 3 cases of the Ass Fire Cheetos,” said Fresno 7-Eleven General Manager Danish Khurshid in a Gish Gallop telephone interview. “And I couldn’t be happier with the results. Not only did we sell out, but we also had a record number of Big Gulp sales. Of course there was the heart attack victim in the parking lot, and the little boy who had an asthma attack, but other than those glitches, it’s been a huge success.”

The ghost chili pepper, also know by its native name bhut jolokia, has one of the highest Scoville ratings on Earth, making it arguably the hottest natural food on the planet. It’s so hot, that up until Americans discovered it and included it in “food challenges,” it was generally considered a weapon and not a real food. However with the advent of food television programs, Americans have started ingesting the dangerous pepper “for fun,” often resulting in dire consequences.

According to a spokesperson at Frito Lay, the company wanted to capitalize on American’s new-found taste for “dangerous eating.”

“It’s clear that American tastes are expanding,” said Frito Lay director of communications Bethany Millbright during a recent press conference. “Food is not just food anymore; it needs to be an adventure. Risky. Just look at your average Applebee’s menu. So we knew our Ass Fire Hot Cheetos would be a hit.”

When questioned about the safety of such products, Mr. Millbright bristled.

“We put warning labels on each package,” continued Ms. Millbright, “and customer safety is our number one concern. Obviously one needs to exercise discretion when enjoying Ass Fire Hot Cheetos, but we don’t want people to be afraid of the product. Enjoy it.”

According to Frito Lay, Ass Fire Hot Ghost Pepper Challenge Cheetos will be available nationally in June.

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TheDirtmover

Now that should cauterize some bleeding hemorrhoids.