Washington, D.C. — According to sources close to the international news and information website Gish Gallop, the publication has successfully refrained from discussing, attacking or criticizing the First Son and offspring of Donald and Melania Trump for the past three years. Born in March of 2006, 13-year-old Barron Trump has largely been spared from the intemperate media spotlight, a rare bright spot in the current news cycle.
“We’ve done our best to steer clear of pointing out his enormous privilege and somewhat quirky behavior,” said Dwayne Gish, publisher of Gish Gallop, LLC and several other popular online publications. “And that’s something we’re going to stick to. Got it? I mean he doesn’t earn any money yet. It’s unfair to say Barron doesn’t support Israel, and he’s too young to work.”
Unlike Barron Trump, his siblings and relatives are fair game for extensive scrutiny. In particular, Mr. Gish says his reporters don’t hold back when it comes to other members of the Trump inner circle.
“Well that’s the thing, Ivanka and Don Jr. are fair game. I mean, look at what they do. Ivanka enables the President, and Don Jr. is his biggest cheerleader. So we’ve done plenty reporting on then,” continued Mr. Gish.
When asked why his publications spent little or no time digging into “the other son” Eric Trump, Dwayne giggled.
“Is it even worth it?” Laughed Mr. Gish. “Eric is a buffoon and not even worth the Internet bandwidth to use Grammarly, you know? I tell my reporters not to even bother with him. He’s a waste of keystrokes.”
As for the future, it’s unclear whether Gish Gallop will continue its “no Barron Trump” coverage, but according to Dwayne, “never is a long time.”