Glenn Beck Beaten With A Dildo At Airport

Conservative talk show host Glenn Beck was assaulted with a large sex toy in Washington D.C.
Conservative talk show host Glenn Beck was assaulted with a large sex toy in Washington D.C.

Washington D.C. — As has been reported by national media outlets, Conservative talk show host Glenn Beck was involved in an altercation with an angry man at Washington D.C.’s Dulles Airport. The attacker, Simon Landis, reportedly beat Glenn Beck with a 14 inches dildo, knocking Beck down after repeated strikes. Some witnesses report that it may have been as long as 24 inches.

Gish Gallop was able to reach Glenn Beck for a comment.

“I was just walking and texting, headed to the gate to board the plane. All of a sudden I was smacked hard across the face by what looked to be a large penis. I did not even have time to put up my hands before I was struck again and again.” Beck began crying, “I just don’t understand why? What did I do?”

Beck then attempted to plug all of his books and shows, which we then had to cut him off. He had huge penis shaped bruises across his cheeks.

The assailant, Simon Landis was overheard saying, “when you act like a dick, you should get slapped by one”.

Mr. Landis was arrested for assault and at press time, he is in police custody awaiting formal charges.

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TheDirtmover
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TheDirtmover

Now how did the dick with the fake dick get it past TSA?

ImajWalker
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ImajWalker

Should have stuck it down his BIG mouth so we wouldn’t be subjected to his PROPAGANDA anymore..