Los Santos, CA — The popular video game maker Rockstar Games has come under fire from conservative critics across the globe for what  Rockstar is calling a programmatic glitch. Using a few undocumented keystrokes in their popular game Grand Theft Auto 5, players for the first time can instruct the police to kill white criminals. This comes at a time of heightens racial tensions around the world.

Many gamers have decided to boycott all Rockstar Games platforms until the glitch is fixed. The financial damage to its online play and game sales has been moderate and the company is scrambling to find a solution.

Simon Shuter, an avid gamer, spoke to Gish Gallop about his outrage at Rockstar.

“It’s crazy bro, here I just stole a car and shot five people, and the cops just roll up and blast me,” said Simon. “It’s ridiculous, they never said to drop the gun or even gave me a chance to surrender. I’m white dammit, I know my rights.”

Some gamers have submitted PTSD claims after watching their white game character shot by police. Many are putting together a class-action lawsuit to seek damages for what they claim is irreparable mental harm and anguish.


One of the gamers in the class action suit, Timothy Gellar said, “it really hit home watching the shooting of an armed white man on my TV. It was so real.”

Sam Houser, President of Rockstar Games, gave a brief statement to the press.

“We apologize for any trouble or pain that our game has caused. After receiving thousands of complaints we are aggressively seeking a solution to fix this problem. We expect to have the game running properly in the next 24 hours. White criminal characters will again have immunity from police shootings.”

It is likely that the damage has already been done and Rockstar will not be able to repair its image with the white gaming community.

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Cleveland Sam
Cleveland Sam, born Sam C. Sharpe, is a hero, a hero to anyone who knows him in Ohio. At the mere age of 7, he rescued a small girl from the clutches of a herd of llamas outside his boyhood home of Cleveland, OH. By the age of 12, he had already rescued over 14 children from near deaths ranging from freak ice cream truck accidents, to drownings in neighbors' Dough Boy Pools. But his heroism didn't stop at youth. No sir. As a teenager, he saved the entire cheerleading squad of his local high school from certain death with their "party van" caught fire during a local "rager." He writes for Gish Gallop because he feels he needs to rescue it. He's probably correct.