Hillary Agrees With Sanders: Government Out of Our Email

Clinton: "I'd jump off the bridge too if others did it"
Clinton: “I’d jump off the bridge too if others did it”

Las Vegas, NV — Following a series of national security-related questions during the Democratic Presidential debate, former New York Senator and United States Secretary of State Hillary Clinton agreed with Senator Bernie Sanders that the government needs to stay out of her email. Anderson Cooper confronted both Ms. Clinton and Rhode Island governor Lincoln Chafee about their support for the Patriot Act, both of which used the “I’d jump off the bridge too if others did it” argument in defense of their vote, which also works for 9-year-old children and apparently the American electorate.

“No, that was another 99 to one vote for the Patriot Act,” said a bumbling and seemingly confused Governor Chafee, “and it was seen as at the time modernizing our ability to do what we’ve always done to tap phones which always required a warrant. And I voted for that. Because everyone else was doing it and I didn’t want to feel left out.”

After which Mr. Cooper turned the question to Ms. Clinton.

“I think that it was necessary to make sure that we were able after 9/11 to put in place the security that we needed,” said a wooden Ms. Clinton exercising her ability to “be tough.” “And, specifically, it was the Bush Administration that insisted on digging into our emails and email servers. When I am President, I will push to make all email none of anyone’s damn business. Especially email servers in private closets.”

Senator Sanders said immediately shutdown the NSA surveillance program.

Critics of Ms. Clinton’s statements maintain that her actions are self-serving due to recent allegations that she used a personal email server to traffic sensitive and some argue, confidential government communication. Supporters claim that this is “no big deal” and that this is another version of the 17 month Benghazi inquires, which has now exceeded the length of the Watergate investigation. Top Republican aides on the select committee dispute any suggestion that their inquiry, which has already cost more than $4.5 million, has been partisan or ineffective or that it changed course. Which of course, is an obvious lie.

After the debate, Ms. Clinton’s media adviser Jim Margolis issue this statement.

“We can see that the vast right-wing conspiracy to undermine our campaign is in full force. Law breakers like Edward Snowden are the real criminals here, and we need to be focusing Americans’ attention on that and not the maniacal rantings in these endless Republican hearings.”

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