Hillary Clinton Found Dead Of Apparent Suicide

According sources close to the Clinton campaign, the Democratic nominee had come to see herself as the chief obstacle in winning the White House.
According sources close to the Clinton campaign, the Democratic nominee had come to see herself as the chief obstacle in winning the White House.

Charlotte, NC — Former Secretary of State Hillary Rodham-Clinton was found dead in her hotel room at 6:05pm by members of her security team. Unofficial cause of death is suicide, however no additional details were available about the methods. Clinton, 68, was in a close race with Republican Donald Trump for the Presidency and was under increasing attacks by both adversaries and even those in her party for her lack of transparency.

According to Clinton campaign aide Alexandra Hicks,  Hillary had become worn-down and despondent over the last few weeks over the attacks.

“She hardly ever spoke to us, not even to swear at us or call us stupid”, said Alexandra. “She just stared at the floor and wrung her hands”.

According to a suicide note obtained by Gish Gallop from a confidential source, Hillary had started to think of herself as a threat to her campaign. She dealt with herself as she would any other threat to her success: self-murder. And by taking her own life, she removed any obstacles in her run up to win the White House.

Conspiracy theorists have attacked Clinton saying that she has a body count of over 50 people that she has had killed. Those people were former aide’s, security and business partners. They were all deemed a threat to the Clinton family, most had dirt on the Clintons and were due to testify before Congress about the Clinton’s business dealings and email servers.

“We thank everyone for the out pouring of support,” said daughter Chelsea Clinton. “We will be planning a proper farewell as soon as my father returns from his Caribbean trip with Jeff Epstein.”