Hostess Develops Cannabis Strain Product Line

Hostess is working on its own marijuana strain.
Hostess is working on its own marijuana strain.

Chicago, IL — The Hostess Snack Corp. is best known for Twinkies, Ho-Ho’s and Ding Dongs, has been spending a significant amount of money to develop their own marijuana strain. The new strain will give the user a mellow high with a serious case of the munchies.

To learn more about this strain of marijuana, Gish Gallop spoke with product developer Shawn West. We caught up to Mr. West in the Hostess greenhouse outside of Chicago. We asked him how this idea came about.

“Well, our stock has been tumbling and we were on the verge of another bankruptcy, so we wanted to target an untapped demographic, stoners,” Mr. West said. “This strain that we have developed will make pot smokers hungrier when getting high. We all know how much better Ding Dongs are when you are high, am I right? In fact, we’re experimenting with changing their name to ‘Ding Bongs.’ Get it?”

Steve Bonzai Lillyputt
Steve Bonzai Lillyputt

We asked our resident pot enthusiast Steve Bonzai Lillyputt whether he felt this was ethical, Mr. Lillyputt said, “well man, the bud is good and I did crush a box of Twinkies, but it seems like another way for the man to make a buck. It could be bio-engineering that will make us all Twinkie’s bitches man”.

Mr. Lillyputt then went into a 45 minute dissertation on the engineering of Chemtrails and GMOs and other frankly boring topics.

If the new strain of marijuana is successful, sales of Hostess products should skyrocket and buyers all have smiles on their faces. Look for Ding Bongs in a dispensary near you.

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Cleveland Sam
Cleveland Sam, born Sam C. Sharpe, is a hero, a hero to anyone who knows him in Ohio. At the mere age of 7, he rescued a small girl from the clutches of a herd of llamas outside his boyhood home of Cleveland, OH. By the age of 12, he had already rescued over 14 children from near deaths ranging from freak ice cream truck accidents, to drownings in neighbors' Dough Boy Pools. But his heroism didn't stop at youth. No sir. As a teenager, he saved the entire cheerleading squad of his local high school from certain death with their "party van" caught fire during a local "rager." He writes for Gish Gallop because he feels he needs to rescue it. He's probably correct.