Illegal Mexican Burro Seeks Asylum In L.A. Church

an illegal mexican burro fearing Donald Trump has sought asylum in a Los Angels Catholic Church.
an illegal Mexican burro fearing Donald Trump has sought asylum in a Los Angels Catholic Church.

Los Angeles, CA — Illegal immigration has taken a front seat spot for our federal government. Yet many U.S. cities have declared themselves sanctuaries for illegal immigrants to live free against federal laws. Pedro, an 11-year-old gay Mexican burro made the long journey, burrowing underneath the border and arriving at the Catholic Holy United Church of Christ in Los Angeles, California. The burro has been taken in against federal law and is officially seeking asylum as a political refugee.

Church Priest Andreas DeLeon, himself an immigrant to the United States, spoke to Gish Gallop about Pedro.

“Pedro came to us from Tijuana where he was part of, um, how shall we say, an adult entertainment act,” said Pastor Andreas. “The least we can do is take him in and help him heal from his wounds.”

But not all the church’s members are happy about Pedro’s presence.

“He frickin’ shits all over the floor without cleaning it up,” said Carla a church member. “What will it say to our children bringing in a gay burro? He should be tossed out on his ass!”

Pedro takes all the controversy surrounding his arrival in stride. He understands that not everyone will approve of his lifestyle.

“First off, I’m from Honduras not Mexico,” said a distraught and slightly annoyed Pedro. “Just because I’m illegal, doesn’t automatically make me Mexican.”

Immigration lawyer Jose Ramirez, has taken Pedro’s case. He is trying to get his client citizenship. It would be the first time a burro would be considered for refugee status.

A commune in Nevada City, CA has offered to take Pedro in, though the group is still under investigation for a dolphin masturbation ring it operated until late last year.

avatar
  Subscribe  
Notify of