Indy 500 Winner Alexander Rossi’s Car Powered by Hemp Oil

Alexander Rossi's winning vehicle.
Alexander Rossi’s winning vehicle.

Indianapolis, IN — Following the stunning win of the Indianapolis 500,  Alexander Rossi revealed the secret to his success: hemp oil. The 24-year-old Nevada City, CA  native said he’s been using a hemp oil fuel mixture for over 2 years with great success.

“We’ve been using it for almost two years,” said a glowing Mr. Rossi during an interview this week. “We get it from the North San Juan Ridge and this stuff has been magic.”

According to race car insiders, the hemp oil mixture can provide an additional 197 horsepower per gallon of fuel. Few seem to know about this magic elixir, but Mr. Rossi isn’t into keeping secrets.

“Look, this stuff is great,” continued Mr. Rossi. “And I have a special supplier, so I’m not too worried about losing ground to the competition. I will tell you one thing, though. The sativa is what you want. The indica oil actually subtracts power, but has a smoother ride.”

It’s unclear at the time of this writing whether other drivers will embrace what is now being called the “Rossi Revolution,” but given his tremendous win, it’s hard to believe that others won’t be adopting his new fuel mixture.

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K.M.

LOL What the hell?

K.M.
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K.M.

LOL What the hell?