ISIS File Lawsuits for Faulty United States RPG’s


Halal later lost a testicle in a tragic RPG misfire.
Halal later lost a testicle in a tragic RPG misfire.

Mosul, Iraq — The war in the Middle East still rages, even with the majority of U.S. combat troops back home. ISIS and terrorist group Al-Qaeda are fighting against the Syrian and Iraqi Armies for control of those countries. The amount of weapons and ammunition required is staggering.

ISIS and Al-Qaeda have filed a lawsuit in federal court alleging that the U.S. government knowingly sold them defective RPGs (Rocket Propelled Grenades). The lawsuit seeks to reimburse each party $134 million dollars for the defective weapons as well as pain and suffering for soldiers maimed using the defective weapon.

According to Jaffar Al-Baghdadi, spokesman for the groups, weapons would often fail to fire or sometimes fire up to 45 seconds after the trigger is pulled. This has caused serious injury and death to members of the groups.

Mohammed Al-Hariri an ISIS member, spoke to Gish Gallop about the defective weapons.

“It is a terrible thing, how can we kill the infidel if the weapon does not work?” said Mohammed. “My friend Halal lost his left testicle when the RPG he pulled the trigger on did not fire for 35 seconds!”

According to the lawsuit, the Clinton Foundation is listed as a second defendant. The groups claim that the foundation assisted in laundering money for weapons sales on the U.S. governments behalf.

The State department has so far denied all claims by the radical Islamist groups that the U.S. sold them weapons of any kind.

Previous articleAlice Cooper Rejoins Mormon Church
Next articleWolf Blitzer Diagnosed With Dementia
Cleveland Sam
Cleveland Sam, born Sam C. Sharpe, is a hero, a hero to anyone who knows him in Ohio. At the mere age of 7, he rescued a small girl from the clutches of a herd of llamas outside his boyhood home of Cleveland, OH. By the age of 12, he had already rescued over 14 children from near deaths ranging from freak ice cream truck accidents, to drownings in neighbors' Dough Boy Pools. But his heroism didn't stop at youth. No sir. As a teenager, he saved the entire cheerleading squad of his local high school from certain death with their "party van" caught fire during a local "rager." He writes for Gish Gallop because he feels he needs to rescue it. He's probably correct.