Busted ISIS Cell Praised New Costco Auburn, CA Documents Reveal

"Mustaqeem"-- ISIS Sleeper Cell Leader, Ranch Dressing aficionado, and Auburn, CA Costco enthusiastic.
“Mustaqeem”– ISIS Sleeper Cell Leader, Ranch Dressing aficionado, and Auburn, CA Costco enthusiastic.

Nevada County, CA Documents obtained by Gish Gallop following the recent bust of a local ISIS sleeper cell reveal that the terrorist group was pleased that a Costco was opening up in Auburn, CA.

According to the seized documents, cell leader “Mustaqeem” commented in his “infidel diary” about the convenience of a closer Costco. In the 754 page diary, the cell leader was critical of American’s gullibility and how much he enjoyed shopping at the large “Big Box” retailer.

[translated via Google Translate] We are pleased that we do not have to drive down to Roseville anymore. The new Costco in Auburn will save us valuable time in our quest to destroy the [untranslatable]. We will be able to purchase provisions, [untranslatable], ranch dressing, toilet paper and all the video equipment we need for our Jihad.

This revelation, that the former terrorist sleeper cell was looking forward to a closer Costco, drew some sharp criticism from locals.

Secret diary documents reveal a joy for Costco
Secret diary documents reveal a joy for Costco

“Well this is an outrage,” said local activist Jem Seminary in downtown Grass Valley in front of Tess’ Kitchen Store. “If we can’t even keep terrorists in the ‘shop local’ meme, how are we going to keep red-blooded Americans here.”

The documents also revealed a general disgust for Americans, and how easy it is to manipulate them into fighting a war they don’t understand. In one diary entry, “Mustaqeem” was confused by American’s outrage.

[translated] It seems that Americans are more outraged about the filming of our executions. This is a key strategy for us. One video will start the war we so desperately want.

avatar
1 Comment threads
0 Thread replies
0 Followers
 
Most reacted comment
Hottest comment thread
1 Comment authors
gygms@aol.com Recent comment authors
  Subscribe  
newest oldest most voted
Notify of
gygms@aol.com
Guest

Well here’s another illegal in our country. Oh yeah, this is a ‘sanctuary state’, he can do what he wants and when he wants. And lets take away our guns from the people so he can have his fun.