Burbank, CA — According to ABC television, former controversial National Security Advisor John Bolton signed on for next season’s Dancing with the Stars. Although rumored that the hawkish conservative operative was spending his time writing a memoir and avoiding Congressional testimony, according to the show’s producer Kale Linderman, Mr. Bolton is also “quite the dancer.”

“Mr. Bolton is a Rennaissance man,” said Mr. Linderman, speaking to the press early this morning. “Frankly, we were surprised like everyone else when he approached us. And to be safe, we had a special audition for him to make sure he wasn’t messing with us. And sure enough, he wasn’t. He knew all the dances and all the moves. He tore up the dance floor.”

According to his spokesperson, Mr. Bolton developed a love for dancing during his service with both the Reagan and GW Bush Administrations.

“While Mr. Bolton was traveling on official business, a friend of his talked him into going dancing,” said Bolton spokeswoman Bethany Milbright. “And never being one to turn down a challenge, he accepted. His first competition was in 1986 during a terrorist bombing spree in Beirut, Lebanon. He took the 2nd Prize. And here’s something you didn’t know, Vladamir Putin once challenged him to a dance-off in 2003. Guess who won? Yep, you guessed it.”


Some question the timing of his appearance on the popular dance competition. And some are even comparing his attempts following the somewhat disastrous showing of former White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer, who was thrown off the set for incendiary remarks he made about “the liberals and the gays.”

“Mr. Bolton is in an entirely different category than Sean Spicer,” continued Ms. Millbright. “First off, John can dance. And boy is that an understatement. And secondly, Mr. Bolton is classy and keeps his remarks to himself. So there won’t be another Spicer controversy.”

ABC Televisions says John Bolton will appear in Season 29, which premieres in January 2021.