Pyongyang, North Korea — The Official new agency of the DPRK announced yesterday that the North Korea government had reached a tentative deal to purchase American basketball legend, Michael Jordan. The deal, which is rumored at 90 million dollars, will be in the form of cash and an agreement to curtail nuclear testing, according to the United States State Department.
“The Democratic People’s Republic of Korea purchased basketball legend Michael Jordan,” said State Department spokesperson Bethany Millbright. “This was a coordinated effort between the DPRK and the United States meant to reduce the threat of war on the Korean peninsula, and harbor goodwill between the two countries.”
Ms. Millbright went on to say that Mr. Jordan did not have any input on the decision, but rather, this was an idea President Trump thought up.
“The President came up with the idea after his recent visit to North Korea. He and Chairman Kim discussed a variety of topics, including basketball. The President offered several players to him, and he chose Michael Jordan.”
Details on the purchase are slim, but White House insiders say Mr. Jordan will be transported to the Korean DMZ later this year, where he will be admitted to the DPRK. From there, as per the terms of the agreement, he will be given lavish accommodations and will be housed near Chairman Kim. Sources say that the reclusive dictator is looking to establish North Korea as a basketball contender for the upcoming Summer Olympics.
When reached for comment, Michael Jordan’s spokesperson says she knew nothing of this deal and said the basketball star has no plans on traveling to North Korea.