Cleveland, OH — The Kool-Aid man is the iconic face for Kool-Aid brand drinks. He is often shown bursting through walls of unsuspecting people shouting his famous catchphrase, “Oh Yeah!” With the decline of Kool-Aid sales in the country, the Kool-Aid man was laid off as spokesperson for the brand, and he fell into a deep depression and become an alcoholic.

Kool-Aid man was arrested yesterday after bursting through three walls of houses on the West Side neighborhood of Tremont City, OH, where he did an estimated $60,000 in damages. He was also cited for drunk and disorderly conduct.

Sara Polachek was one of the homeowners and is now seeking compensation for damage done to her home. She spoke to Gish Gallop about her experience.


“We were watching NCIS, my boyfriend and I, when all of a sudden this giant pitcher busts through the wall yelling ‘Oh Yea bitches’,” said Sara. “They were just about to show Siva and Tony’s baby, and that prick Kool-Aid ruined it. Now, look at the hole in my wall! The Robertsons can see right in!”

But Kool-Aid man being a glass half full kind of guy says he will be back on top again. He is in the  Cuyahoga County Jail, awaiting trial.

Previous articleMorrissey to Replace Bono on Upcoming U2 Tour
Next articleReligious Groups Celebrate The End of Black Sabbath
Cleveland Sam
Cleveland Sam, born Sam C. Sharpe, is a hero, a hero to anyone who knows him in Ohio. At the mere age of 7, he rescued a small girl from the clutches of a herd of llamas outside his boyhood home of Cleveland, OH. By the age of 12, he had already rescued over 14 children from near deaths ranging from freak ice cream truck accidents, to drownings in neighbors' Dough Boy Pools. But his heroism didn't stop at youth. No sir. As a teenager, he saved the entire cheerleading squad of his local high school from certain death with their "party van" caught fire during a local "rager." He writes for Gish Gallop because he feels he needs to rescue it. He's probably correct.