Are Lawn Darts, the new black?
Washington D.C. — The Consumer Product Safety Commission announced today, just in time for the 2014 Christmas shopping season, the reinstatement of Lawn Dart technology as an acceptable toy, as long as no one gets hurt. Commission Chair Abronsky Ditweiller, pulling a rabbit out of his hat, met with Gish Gallop reporters this afternoon to explain the findings.
“Look, they’re just darts, right? And kids like to throw dangerous crap all over the yard. Right? So the whole problem seems to be that kids were on the receiving end of the darts. Not a good idea, obviously. I mean really, who wants to catch a descending arrow of stainless steel death if they don’t have to?”
Factories in China are furiously retooling to meet the projected command. Please refer to Gish Gallop often for further updates.