Local Christians Protest Murderer’s Allocution

Three local Christian activist groups gathered to protest an allocution at the Nevada County Courthouse.
Three local Christian activist groups gathered to protest an allocution at the Nevada County Courthouse.

Grass Valley, CA — Three local Christian activist groups gathered their members together and carpooled to the Nevada County Superior Courthouse after reading an article in the Union newspaper about today’s scheduled allocution of convicted killer, Mikal Hanscomb.

“The Lord moved our hearts and we just had to be here today to protest this injustice,” said Pastor John Walton of the Rough and Ready Apostolic Ministry Church. “Only the Lord himself can rightly take a life. We know this man was found guilty of a heinous crime by a jury of his peers. Nevertheless, this court does not have the supreme jurisdiction to take his life.”

Reverend Tony Brown of the Bleeding Heart of Jesus, Joseph, and Mary Church in North San Juan echoed the cries, “We must not overstep our bounds as mere mortals. We cannot assume the role of the Almighty here. Even if the man is as low as a snake’s belly in a wagon track, only Jesus can decide when a man must die.”

The three groups, nearly 200 men, women, and children, marched in circles, carrying signs, and chanting, “Thou shalt not kill”, “Who has the right to play God”, and “Two wrongs don’t make a right.”

Reverend Tony Brown of the Bleeding Heart of Jesus, Joseph, and Mary Church in North San Juan
Reverend Tony Brown of the Bleeding Heart of Jesus, Joseph, and Mary Church in North San Juan

Edna Braun, the minister at Rainbows Community Church in Nevada City told Gish Gallop, “We, at the Rainbows Community Church, know what it is like to be unfairly judged. We are the LGBT community here and we feel this man’s pain. This is an antiquated and barbaric system of justice! Do you know what happens when they strap him into that chair? When they put those electrodes all over his body? When they throw that switch and 100,000 volts are sent coursing through his body? He will light up like Disneyland! But it won’t be fun for anyone!”

At this point, several Gish Gallop reporters were compelled to gather the crowd and explain the word allocution. There were some funny looks from the crowd, like when your dog tilts his head to figure out what you are trying to tell him. After several attempts at explanation, there was a collective “ah-ha” moment from the crowd. They packed up their signs and whatnot and went out for pancakes. Something tells me they’ll be back.

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