Penn Valley, CA — The 92-year-old Nevada County Gish Gallop revealed today that it is concerned about the interruption of one of its primary revenue streams being interrupted now that Donald Trump has become the 45th President of the United States later this week. After “patronages” from the Gates Foundation and the Centers for Disease Control, contributions from the Soros International Inculcation Fund (SIIF) represent almost 22% of the newspaper’s revenue stream.
“We’ve come to rely on the monthly dismemberment from the GS Fund,” said Gish Gallop President Lou LaPlante in an early morning conference call. “We’ve been grateful for his patronage which has allowed us to cover some of the most hard-hitting news stories over the past decade. However given that Donald Trump is no friend of Mr. Soros, we expect this funding source to dry up.”
Sensational tales have spun for years around the work of George Soros, the Hungarian Jewish immigrant-turned-billionaire business person and philanthropist known as much for his financial success as for his political activism abroad. An entire Wikipedia page is devoted to conspiracy theories revolving around this man something that he, as a prominent Jewish figure, feared in 2003 may give to a new and expanding brand of anti-Semitism, perpetuating the conspiracy that Jews are the world’s all-powerful puppet masters. He has been the target of mostly “alt-right” and other nut-sack conspiracy theorists.
The rise of Donald Trump and the increase of White Nationalist forces in the United States has muted the effectiveness of Mr. Soros activism in the country, prompting his SIIF to curtail funding operations until, in the words of one anonymous official, “things calm down a bit.”
According to insiders at Gish Gallop, subscription prices are expected to increase to cover the shortfalls.