Nevada County, CA — The popular family-owned Spring Hill Pharmacy has colluded with Beale Air Force Officials to produce the recent influenza outbreak in Western Nevada County, Gish Gallop learned early Wednesday morning. According to insiders and a few shameless Facebook comments, people have successfully correlated the Spring Hill Pharmacy sign located on Dorsey Drive with overhead chem trails.
“Seems a little hippy dippy me saying that but they just had a fly over about 2 & 1/2 weeks ago,” said one Facebook participant, “now everyone’s sick. Just weird to me. I’m sure it’s a coincidence but, makes my brain go into overdrive. Lol.”
Although some scoff at the chemtrail conspiracy believers, Department of Defense [DoD] insiders tell Gish Gallop there’s nothing to laugh at.
“Look, Spring Hill [Pharmacy] has been integral in developing the chemtrail PA-10A7 and PS-09B3 programs,” said anonymous insider “DefMan7”. “What people don’t get, is that FL-45IN89 [flu chemtrail] was a vaccine for the flu. But we screwed up and ended up infecting everyone.”
According to DoD chemtrail project managers, if one gets sick, there is nothing to do but stay inside and watch miserable daytime television. Officials also recommended staying off the Internet.
“Well, we’ll just have continue our CS-23F5 [clear sky cloud seeding] operations,” continued DefMan7. “They’re not working so well. Turns out you need actual clouds to seed them properly. That’s the government for ya.”