Local Researcher: Aberdeen, Scotland Doesn’t Exist

Skyy Wolford out in front of the Sierra Super Stop in North San Juan, CA.
Skyy Wolford out in front of the Sierra Super Stop in North San Juan, California.

North San Juan, CA — North San Juan resident, part-time chemtrail researcher and amateur ionizing radiation hobbyist Skyy Wolford announced to a somewhat disinterested crowd out in front of the Sierra Super Stop store that the Scottish coastal city of Aberdeen is an elaborate hoax and does not exist. Mr. Wolford, who was recently in the news following his landmark Wi-Fi disability settlement, has been studying what he calls “the North Sea anomaly” for the past 3 years.

“There’s this thing I learned on the Internet called the Bielefeld effect,” said a mood-elevated Mr. Wolford in a Gish Gallop telephone interview. “It’s where there’s this illusion that some place actually exists. People talk about it. They even claim to know people there. But it’s all fake. They’re either part of the conspiracy to keep the hoax alive, or they’re delusional. Clearly this is a ruse by the Scottish real estate industry to sell land to foreigners.”

The Bielefeld effect, also known as the Bielefeld conspiracy, spread in 1994 on the German Usenet, which claimed that the city of Bielefeld does not actually exist, but is an illusion propagated by various Illuminati forces. Originally an internet phenomenon, the effect has since spread to other hoax cities like Aberdeen. To this day German Chancellor Angela Merkel, refers to Bielefeld in her speeches, even though the city doesn’t actually exist.

To the casual observer this looks like a reasonable depiction of Aberdeen. However this is an elaborate fake image provided by a British Intelligence Agency.

The “Granite City” is supposedly located on the northeastern coast of Scotland, and has been promoted as a offshore oil and gas center since the conspiracy began in the 19th century . The city is also a host to several universities . However, after three attempts to contact the local government by Gish Gallop with no success, Mr. Wolford’s observations seem less bat-shit crazy.

“Look,” continued Mr. Wolford,”It’s really simple to prove that Aberdeen doesn’t exist. All you have to do is answer these three questions. Number one. Do you know anyone from Aberdeen? Two. Have you ever been to Aberdeen? And lastly, number three. Do you know anybody who has ever been to Aberdeen? And don’t say Donald Trump.”

Gish Gallop reached out to the local community and asked them Mr. Wolford’s three questions.

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