Local Researcher: Ann Arbor, Michigan Doesn’t Exist

Skyy Wolford out in front of the Sierra Super Stop in North San Juan, CA.
Skyy Wolford out in front of the Sierra Super Stop in North San Juan, CA.

North San Juan, CA — North San Juan resident, part-time chemtrail researcher and amateur ionizing radiation hobbyist Skyy Wolford announced to a somewhat disinterested crowd out in front of the Sierra Super Stop that Ann Arbor, Michigan is an elaborate hoax and does not exist. Mr. Wolford, who was recently in the news following his landmark Wi-Fi disability settlement, has been studying what he calls “the Ann Arbor anomaly” for the past 3 years.

“There’s this thing I learned on the Internet called the Bielefeld effect,” said a mood-elevated Mr. Wolford in a Gish Gallop telephone interview. “It’s where there’s this illusion that some place actually exists. People talk about it. They even claim to know people there. But it’s all fake. They’re either part of the conspiracy to keep the hoax alive, or they’re delusional. What’s even more interesting, is that this effect has become more pronounced after Hillary Clinton has made a so-called ‘campaign stop’ in the fictitious college town. Really interesting. Think about how far this conspiracy goes up the chain of command.”

The Bielefeld effect, also known as the Bielefeld conspiracy, spread in 1994 on the German Usenet, which claimed that the city of Bielefeld does not actually exist, but is an illusion propagated by various Illuminati forces. Originally an internet phenomenon, the effect has since spread to other hoax cities like Ann Arbor, Michigan. To this day German Chancellor Angela Merkel, refers to Bielefeld in her speeches, even though the city doesn’t actually exist.

Conspiracy forces have even created a fake university according to Mr. Wolford.
Conspiracy forces have even created a fake university according to Mr. Wolford.

Ann Arbor is supposedly located just west of Detroit, and has been promoted as the intellectual capital of Michigan since the conspiracy was started over 100 years ago. However, after three attempts to contact the local government by Gish Gallop with no success, Mr. Wolford’s observations seem less batshit crazy.

“Look,” continued Mr. Wolford,”It’s really simple to prove that Ann Arbor doesn’t exist. All you have to do is answer these three questions. Number one. Do you know anyone from Ann Arbor? Two. Have you ever been to Ann Arbor, Michigan? And lastly, number three. Do you know anybody who has ever been to Ann Arbor? And don’t say Hillary Clinton.”

Gish Gallop reached out to the local community and asked them Mr. Wolford’s three questions.

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xhado123
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xhado123

I live in Ann Arbor. I am still fairly sure it’s just a house east of Jackson, MI. Created to give folks in Ypsilanti a scapegoat for a migrating herd of hipsters.

butstilliburn
Guest
butstilliburn

seems legit

Scooter Brown
Guest
Scooter Brown

I was born in Ann Arbor, my mother was born in Ann Arbor, her father was born in Ann Arbor, his father was born in Ann Arbor. We have a bit of history in that town.

C.
Guest
C.

You probably don’t exist!

Webmaster Tim
Guest

That’s what they tell you to say during your CIA training.

John Sitomer
Guest
John Sitomer

Yes as am I also a college aged male who resides in the City of Ann Arbor. I can assure you the government is covering up nothing, Ann Arbor isr eal.

thesagan
Guest
thesagan

Do you happen to know around what year your first relations arrived in town?

Kandra
Guest
Kandra

You should come visit Ann Arbor sometime, it’s a great city. I’ve lived and worked in Ann Arbor for 10 years,

Webmaster Tim
Guest

That’s going to be difficult to prove.

Ceejay7
Guest
Ceejay7

This guy is out of his fuckin mind. – Sent from near the supposed location of Ann Arbor,Mi

Tommysgirl21165
Guest
Tommysgirl21165

Is this guy on drugs???
My grandparents lived in Ann Arbor, as did my dad. My Grandpa worked at U of M
I’ve got friends who live there.

Webmaster Tim
Guest

> Is this guy on drugs???

Probably.

shotonsite
Guest
shotonsite

As a Fourth Generation Ann Arbor Hoaxkeeper, it is my sworn duty to hunt down Mr Wolford and kill him with high delicatessen prices..

Krista Ridley
Guest
Krista Ridley

Lol! Yes, yes yes!

Webmaster Tim
Guest

Hi folks. The only way to prove that you are not part of the conspiracy, is to share and tag this article with all of your friends. Do it for the #theTruth.

xhado123
Guest
xhado123

I live in Ann Arbor. I am still fairly sure it’s just a house east of Jackson, MI. Created to give folks in Ypsilanti a scapegoat for a migrating herd of hipsters.

Michael Raffin
Guest
Michael Raffin

What a waste of the last two minutes of my life. Can I please have it back, moron?

Webmaster Tim
Guest

Sure. Where would you like it?

Nathan Guthery - From Ann Arbo
Guest
Nathan Guthery - From Ann Arbo

ACE DUCE IN THE HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM SITTING IN ANN ARBOR WRITING THIS AHAHAHAH

That man…Needs to take a trip for himself.

Webmaster Tim
Guest

No you’re not.

Nathan Guthery - From Ann Arbo
Guest
Nathan Guthery - From Ann Arbo
Webmaster Tim
Guest

Yes, It’s obvious you’re working for Mossad. Pity.

butstilliburn
Guest
butstilliburn

seems legit

Scooter Brown
Guest
Scooter Brown

I was born in Ann Arbor, my mother was born in Ann Arbor, her father was born in Ann Arbor, his father was born in Ann Arbor. We have a bit of history in that town.

C.
Guest
C.

You probably don’t exist!

Webmaster Tim
Guest

That’s what they tell you to say during your CIA training.

John Sitomer
Guest
John Sitomer

Yes as am I also a college aged male who resides in the City of Ann Arbor. I can assure you the government is covering up nothing, Ann Arbor isr eal.

thesagan
Guest
thesagan

Do you happen to know around what year your first relations arrived in town?

Kandra
Guest
Kandra

You should come visit Ann Arbor sometime, it’s a great city. I’ve lived and worked in Ann Arbor for 10 years,

Webmaster Tim
Guest

That’s going to be difficult to prove.

Ceejay7
Guest
Ceejay7

This guy is out of his fuckin mind. – Sent from near the supposed location of Ann Arbor,Mi

Tommysgirl21165
Guest
Tommysgirl21165

Is this guy on drugs???
My grandparents lived in Ann Arbor, as did my dad. My Grandpa worked at U of M
I’ve got friends who live there.

Webmaster Tim
Guest

> Is this guy on drugs???

Probably.

shotonsite
Guest
shotonsite

As a Fourth Generation Ann Arbor Hoaxkeeper, it is my sworn duty to hunt down Mr Wolford and kill him with high delicatessen prices..

Krista Ridley
Guest
Krista Ridley

Lol! Yes, yes yes!

Webmaster Tim
Guest

Hi folks. The only way to prove that you are not part of the conspiracy, is to share and tag this article with all of your friends. Do it for the #theTruth.

Michael Raffin
Guest
Michael Raffin

What a waste of the last two minutes of my life. Can I please have it back, moron?

Webmaster Tim
Guest

Sure. Where would you like it?

Nathan Guthery - From Ann Arbo
Guest
Nathan Guthery - From Ann Arbo

ACE DUCE IN THE HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM SITTING IN ANN ARBOR WRITING THIS AHAHAHAH

That man…Needs to take a trip for himself.

Webmaster Tim
Guest

No you’re not.

Nathan Guthery - From Ann Arbo
Guest
Nathan Guthery - From Ann Arbo
Webmaster Tim
Guest

Yes, It’s obvious you’re working for Mossad. Pity.

K B
Guest
K B

yes …yes… and yes

Seep Mi
Guest
Seep Mi

This guy is a fuckin nuts-o.

As for the questions– yes, yes, and yes. so…. yeah.
This guy should get in his car and take a road trip to Ann Arbor… I’d love to meet him there to see the “Oh I’m an idiot” look on his face when he gets there.

Webmaster Tim
Guest

Pro Tip on hospitality.

Gary Allum
Guest
Gary Allum

Want to get your name in the ‘paper?’ Just make a claim that a heavily populated town is a myth. Ann Arbor doesn’t exist? I’ve been to the Ann Arbor art festive several times, been to a football game at EMU, and visited my Aunt & Uncle there many times.

Webmaster Tim
Guest

No you haven’t.

K B
Guest
K B

yes …yes… and yes

Nathaniel Udell
Guest
Nathaniel Udell

So all the games I watched or attended at U of M in Ann Arbor or containing the wolverines football team never happened? Am I in the Matrix or something? Well if Ann Arbor doesn’t exist I don’t think that Los Angeles, CA. exists just because I’ve never been there and the internet told me so…… Makes sense right?

Webmaster Tim
Guest

> So all the games I watched or attended at U of M in Ann Arbor or containing the wolverines football team never happened?

You already have your answer.

Nathaniel Udell
Guest
Nathaniel Udell

Why did you take the blue pill. You shoulda taken the red one….. I think you need to get out of your house more and spend less time in a chair. I lived near ann arbor, know people from ann arbor, and know people who have been to ann arbor so by the logic proposed in this article it does exist.

Nathaniel Udell
Guest
Nathaniel Udell

BOOM! goes the dynamite…….

Webmaster Tim
Guest

Hi, I’m already outside. Can’t you tell by my picture?

thesagan
Guest
thesagan

That’s right: it never happened.

Listen: I know how you’re feeling. I’m in Ann Arbor, too. Or at least I thought I was. But the writer has a point: that we’ve all been misled. This isn’t Ann Arbor. We may be somewhere, but not there. Because Ann Arbor isn’t “there” it can’t be “here” either.

Live and learn. We’re Ypsi’s.

Seep Mi
Guest
Seep Mi

This guy is a fuckin nuts-o.

As for the questions– yes, yes, and yes. so…. yeah.
This guy should get in his car and take a road trip to Ann Arbor… I’d love to meet him there to see the “Oh I’m an idiot” look on his face when he gets there.

Webmaster Tim
Guest

Pro Tip on hospitality.

Gary Allum
Guest
Gary Allum

Want to get your name in the ‘paper?’ Just make a claim that a heavily populated town is a myth. Ann Arbor doesn’t exist? I’ve been to the Ann Arbor art festive several times, been to a football game at EMU, and visited my Aunt & Uncle there many times.

Webmaster Tim
Guest

No you haven’t.

sdf3ls
Guest
sdf3ls

I live in Ann Arbor, and the article is correct, it’s a hoax

Webmaster Tim
Guest

How does it feel to come clean? Must be a relief.

Nathaniel Udell
Guest
Nathaniel Udell

So all the games I watched or attended at U of M in Ann Arbor or containing the wolverines football team never happened? Am I in the Matrix or something? Well if Ann Arbor doesn’t exist I don’t think that Los Angeles, CA. exists just because I’ve never been there and the internet told me so…… Makes sense right?

Webmaster Tim
Guest

> So all the games I watched or attended at U of M in Ann Arbor or containing the wolverines football team never happened?

You already have your answer.

Nathaniel Udell
Guest
Nathaniel Udell

Why did you take the blue pill. You shoulda taken the red one….. I think you need to get out of your house more and spend less time in a chair. I lived near ann arbor, know people from ann arbor, and know people who have been to ann arbor so by the logic proposed in this article it does exist.

Nathaniel Udell
Guest
Nathaniel Udell

BOOM! goes the dynamite…….

Webmaster Tim
Guest

Hi, I’m already outside. Can’t you tell by my picture?

thesagan
Guest
thesagan

That’s right: it never happened.

Listen: I know how you’re feeling. I’m in Ann Arbor, too. Or at least I thought I was. But the writer has a point: that we’ve all been misled. This isn’t Ann Arbor. We may be somewhere, but not there. Because Ann Arbor isn’t “there” it can’t be “here” either.

Live and learn. We’re Ypsi’s.

sdf3ls
Guest
sdf3ls

I live in Ann Arbor, and the article is correct, it’s a hoax

Webmaster Tim
Guest

How does it feel to come clean? Must be a relief.

thesagan
Guest
thesagan

Of COURSE it’s a hoax. Washtenaw County’s “First Families” of yore did not invent Ann Arbor just for it to simply *exist* in the normal, existential sense of it. The evolution of the region is well-documented in various family records. They were sick, sick people. We still are, fortunately.

Keith
Guest
Keith

Having personally driven across the Indiana-Canada border on numerous occasions, I can testify that the entire state of “Michigan” does not exist. The whole state is made up. Those claiming to live in “Michigan” are involved in a massive conspiracy to defraud the government of welfare benefits.

thesagan
Guest
thesagan

Of COURSE it’s a hoax. Washtenaw County’s “First Families” of yore did not invent Ann Arbor just for it to simply *exist* in the normal, existential sense of it. The evolution of the region is well-documented in various family records. They were sick, sick people. We still are, fortunately.

Dave Garrido - Witkowski
Guest
Dave Garrido - Witkowski

I live in Ann Arbor, I was rased in Ann Arbor, I’m in school in Ann Arbor and let me tell you right now. You’re dumb as fuck.

Dave Garrido - Witkowski
Guest
Dave Garrido - Witkowski

I live in Ann Arbor, I was raised in Ann Arbor, I’m typing this message in Ann Arbor. Let me tell you, you’re dumb as fuck.

Webmaster Tim
Guest

You’re not in Ann Arbor from the obvious tone in your writing. Nice try. Row harder.

Keith
Guest
Keith

Having personally driven across the Indiana-Canada border on numerous occasions, I can testify that the entire state of “Michigan” does not exist. The whole state is made up. Those claiming to live in “Michigan” are involved in a massive conspiracy to defraud the government of welfare benefits.

Dave Garrido - Witkowski
Guest
Dave Garrido - Witkowski

I live in Ann Arbor, I was rased in Ann Arbor, I’m in school in Ann Arbor and let me tell you right now. You’re dumb as fuck.

Dave Garrido - Witkowski
Guest
Dave Garrido - Witkowski

I live in Ann Arbor, I was raised in Ann Arbor, I’m typing this message in Ann Arbor. Let me tell you, you’re dumb as fuck.

Webmaster Tim
Guest

You’re not in Ann Arbor from the obvious tone in your writing. Nice try. Row harder.

Hal Brannan
Guest
Hal Brannan

Nothing to see “here” folks, move along, don’t get off 23 or 14 or 94. Just keep driving

Jessica Davis
Guest
Jessica Davis

Definitely do not take the stadium exit off of 94…who knows what they will do to you to keep their secret! I stopped and got gas at Meijer there last week, but now I am wondering I was just brainwashed LOL

Hal Brannan
Guest
Hal Brannan

Nothing to see “here” folks, move along, don’t get off 23 or 14 or 94. Just keep driving

Jessica Davis
Guest
Jessica Davis

Definitely do not take the stadium exit off of 94…who knows what they will do to you to keep their secret! I stopped and got gas at Meijer there last week, but now I am wondering I was just brainwashed LOL

Jessica Davis
Guest
Jessica Davis

LOL I moved from Ann Arbor a couple years ago, oh yeah and I stopped and bought gas there last week πŸ˜›

Jessica Davis
Guest
Jessica Davis

After reading some more I am wondering if I was brainwashed into thinking I stopped and got gas there!

Webmaster Tim
Guest

How can you be sure you got gas there?

Lisa Pollock
Guest
Lisa Pollock

I live and work in Ann Arbor, for the college.

Webmaster Tim
Guest

Unfortunately, you don’t.

Jessica Davis
Guest
Jessica Davis

LOL I moved from Ann Arbor a couple years ago, oh yeah and I stopped and bought gas there last week πŸ˜›

Jessica Davis
Guest
Jessica Davis

After reading some more I am wondering if I was brainwashed into thinking I stopped and got gas there!

Webmaster Tim
Guest

How can you be sure you got gas there?

Rae Shue
Guest
Rae Shue

What an idiotic notion. My aunt and uncle lived in Ann Arbor LOOOOOOONG before 1994. My dad’s family is from Hudson Michigan so I OBVIOUSLY went to Ann Arbor every visit. So yeah…remove head from anal sphincter. Ann Arbor exists. Idiot.

Webmaster Tim
Guest

Why do you feel so strongly about defending Ann Arbor? Perhaps you’re hiding something?

Lisa Pollock
Guest
Lisa Pollock

I live and work in Ann Arbor, for the college.

Webmaster Tim
Guest

Unfortunately, you don’t.

Rae Shue
Guest
Rae Shue

What an idiotic notion. My aunt and uncle lived in Ann Arbor LOOOOOOONG before 1994. My dad’s family is from Hudson Michigan so I OBVIOUSLY went to Ann Arbor every visit. So yeah…remove head from anal sphincter. Ann Arbor exists. Idiot.

Webmaster Tim
Guest

Why do you feel so strongly about defending Ann Arbor? Perhaps you’re hiding something?

Rick Derris
Guest
Rick Derris

I’m guessing the guy is an Ohio State fan.

Rick Derris
Guest
Rick Derris

I’m guessing the guy is an Ohio State fan.

MagicalP
Guest
MagicalP

Well. I was born in Ann Arbor and attended high school and university there. . . . but, eh, I’m on board!

MagicalP
Guest
MagicalP

Well. I was born in Ann Arbor and attended high school and university there. . . . but, eh, I’m on board!

Brook Elgrably
Guest
Brook Elgrably

I thought I was in Ann Arbor right now… but now I learn from science I am, in fact, NOT in Ann Arbor. Come to think of it, these people around me do look a little weird. Robotic, maybe?…. WHERE AM I?!!?!? WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE??!?!!?

Brook Elgrably
Guest
Brook Elgrably

I thought I was in Ann Arbor right now… but now I learn from science I am, in fact, NOT in Ann Arbor. Come to think of it, these people around me do look a little weird. Robotic, maybe?…. WHERE AM I?!!?!? WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE??!?!!?