Local Researcher: Mississauga, Ontario Doesn’t Exist

Skyy Wolford out in front of the Sierra Super Stop in North San Juan, CA.
Skyy Wolford out in front of the Sierra Super Stop in North San Juan, CA.

North San Juan, CA — North San Juan resident, part-time chemtrail researcher and amateur ionizing radiation hobbyist Skyy Wolford announced to a somewhat disinterested crowd out in front of the Sierra Super Stop that Mississauga, Ontario is an elaborate hoax and does not exist. Mr. Wolford, who was recently in the news following his landmark Wi-Fi disability settlement, has been studying what he calls “the Mississauga anomaly” for the past 3 years.

“There’s this thing I learned on the Internet called the Bielefeld effect,” said a mood-elevated Mr. Wolford in a Gish Gallop telephone interview. “It’s where there’s this illusion that some place actually exists. People talk about it. They even claim to know people there. But it’s all fake. They’re either part of the conspiracy to keep the hoax alive, or they’re delusional. What’s even more interesting, is that this effect has become more pronounced after Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has made a so-called ‘campaign stop’ in the fictitious city. Really interesting. Think about how far this conspiracy goes up the chain of command.”

The Bielefeld effect, also known as the Bielefeld conspiracy, spread in 1994 on the German Usenet, which claimed that the city of Bielefeld does not actually exist, but is an illusion propagated by various Illuminati forces. Originally an internet phenomenon, the effect has since spread to other hoax cities like Mississauga, Ontario. To this day German Chancellor Angela Merkel, refers to Bielefeld in her speeches, even though the city doesn’t actually exist.

Faked Mississauga Condominium Skyline clearly Photoshopped by international conspiracy interests.
Faked Mississauga Condominium Skyline clearly Photoshopped by international conspiracy interests. This apparently passes as “modern architecture,” when one is drunk.

Mississauga is supposedly located in southern Ontario and its citizens are called “Saugans” by Illuminati elites since the conspiracy was started over 117 years ago by settlers from Toronto. However, after three attempts to contact the local government by Gish Gallop with no success, Mr. Wolford’s observations seem less crazy.

“Look,” continued Mr. Wolford,”It’s really simple to prove that Mississauga doesn’t exist. All you have to do is answer these three questions. Number one. Do you know anyone from Mississauga? Two. Have you ever been to Mississauga, Ontario? And lastly, number three. Do you know anybody who has ever been to Mississauga? And don’t say Justin Trudeau.”

Gish Gallop reached out to the local community and asked them Mr. Wolford’s three questions.