Local Researcher: Missoula, Montana Doesn’t Exist

Skyy Wolford out in front of the Sierra Super Stop in North San Juan, CA.
Skyy Wolford out in front of the Sierra Super Stop in North San Juan, CA.

North San Juan, CA — North San Juan resident, part-time chemtrail researcher and amateur ionizing radiation hobbyist Skyy Wolford announced to a somewhat disinterested crowd out in front of the Sierra Super Stop that Missoula, Montana is an elaborate hoax and does not exist. Mr. Wolford, who was recently in the news following his landmark Wi-Fi disability settlement, has been studying what he calls “the Missoula anomaly” for the past 3 years.

“There’s this thing I learned on the Internet called the Bielefeld effect,” said a mood-elevated Mr. Wolford in a Gish Gallop telephone interview. “It’s where there’s this illusion that some place actually exists. People talk about it. They even claim to know people there. But it’s all fake. They’re either part of the conspiracy to keep the hoax alive, or they’re delusional.”

The Bielefeld effect, also known as the Bielefeld conspiracy, spread in 1994 on the German Usenet, which claimed that the city of Bielefeld does not actually exist, but is an illusion propagated by various Illuminati forces. Originally an internet phenomenon, the effect has since spread to other hoax cities like Missoula, Montana. To this day German Chancellor Angela Merkel, refers to Bielefeld in her speeches, even though the city doesn’t actually exist.

Missoula is supposedly located in the western part of Montana and has been promoted as both a timber and a university town since the conspiracy was started over a hundred years ago. However, after three attempts to contact the local government by Gish Gallop with no success, Mr. Wolford’s observations seem less batshit crazy.

“Look,” continued Mr. Wolford,”It’s really simple to prove that Missoula doesn’t exist. All you have to do is answer these three questions. Number one. Do you know anyone from Missoula? Two. Have you ever been to Missoula, Montana? And lastly, number three. Do you know anybody who has ever been to Missoula?”

Gish Gallop reached out to the local community and asked them Mr. Wolford’s three questions.

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Thomas Fines
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Thomas Fines

I am a sales rep and I call on accounts there. I have been there on numerous occasions. I can’t believe I dignified this with an answer. They have a Thai restaurant there with incredible food. I stop everytime I visit.

WLFirefighter
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WLFirefighter

I could say the same things about Great Falls but we all know it would be lies. I don’t appreciate your making things up to get attention online.

Thomas Fines
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Thomas Fines

I am a sales rep and I call on accounts there. I have been there on numerous occasions. I can’t believe I dignified this with an answer. They have a Thai restaurant there with incredible food. I stop everytime I visit.

WLFirefighter
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WLFirefighter

I could say the same things about Great Falls but we all know it would be lies. I don’t appreciate your making things up to get attention online.

WLFirefighter
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WLFirefighter

I would like to reiterate! All of you do exist and you are a very important person. It’s just that you are experiencing false memories due to a project to program all Montanans. You may have only visited Montana, the virus is airborne.

You will be alright with treatment and therapy! Please don’t be frightened.

A Missoulian
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A Missoulian

So I am a figment of imagination now? Well to be honest Missoula Montana is a great place I am from Mission Viejo CA and I couldn’t believe how different the two places were. I have elbow room and a backyard. I guess since we are so much different from the only thing “he knows” of San Juan we could not exist. Has he tried to “find” Missoula or is the Internet his only means of education and information. Also I Applied to colleges and you have to say where you live if I lived in a fake place wouldn’t… Read more »

Iawoke004
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Iawoke004

My bad, should have recognized this post was only for those who believe being insulting and rude is the only thing of value. Should never have posted.

WLFirefighter
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WLFirefighter

I understand that you feel angry. Finding out that a majority of your life was imagined is quite the shock. We are here for you and there is no insults. Only support.