Local Researcher: Missoula, Montana Doesn’t Exist

Skyy Wolford out in front of the Sierra Super Stop in North San Juan, CA.
Skyy Wolford out in front of the Sierra Super Stop in North San Juan, CA.

North San Juan, CA — North San Juan resident, part-time chemtrail researcher and amateur ionizing radiation hobbyist Skyy Wolford announced to a somewhat disinterested crowd out in front of the Sierra Super Stop that Missoula, Montana is an elaborate hoax and does not exist. Mr. Wolford, who was recently in the news following his landmark Wi-Fi disability settlement, has been studying what he calls “the Missoula anomaly” for the past 3 years.

“There’s this thing I learned on the Internet called the Bielefeld effect,” said a mood-elevated Mr. Wolford in a Gish Gallop telephone interview. “It’s where there’s this illusion that some place actually exists. People talk about it. They even claim to know people there. But it’s all fake. They’re either part of the conspiracy to keep the hoax alive, or they’re delusional.”

The Bielefeld effect, also known as the Bielefeld conspiracy, spread in 1994 on the German Usenet, which claimed that the city of Bielefeld does not actually exist, but is an illusion propagated by various Illuminati forces. Originally an internet phenomenon, the effect has since spread to other hoax cities like Missoula, Montana. To this day German Chancellor Angela Merkel, refers to Bielefeld in her speeches, even though the city doesn’t actually exist.

Missoula is supposedly located in the western part of Montana and has been promoted as both a timber and a university town since the conspiracy was started over a hundred years ago. However, after three attempts to contact the local government by Gish Gallop with no success, Mr. Wolford’s observations seem less batshit crazy.

“Look,” continued Mr. Wolford,”It’s really simple to prove that Missoula doesn’t exist. All you have to do is answer these three questions. Number one. Do you know anyone from Missoula? Two. Have you ever been to Missoula, Montana? And lastly, number three. Do you know anybody who has ever been to Missoula?”

Gish Gallop reached out to the local community and asked them Mr. Wolford’s three questions.