Cedar Ridge, CA — Cedar Ridge private contractor, family man and dutiful husband Ken Rice found himself trapped in his Beaver Drive bathroom last Wednesday after his wife left for a week on a business trip. Without food, Mr. Rice resorted to eating his wife’s various hair and body care products.
“Ok, yeah. What was I to do,” questioned a relieved Mr. Rice. “When that oak fell and trapped me in there, I thought I would just climb out. But after a couple of days, I realized that I was stuck in there for a while. And I got hungry.”
According to Nevada County Search and Rescue, Mr. Rice became trapped in his bathroom after a 125 year old Black Oak fell on his 3 bedroom home late Wednesday night pinning the door shut. He still had power and water, but he could not escape until authorities discovered him 6 days later.
“Mr. Rice is lucky to be alive,” said Search and Rescue commander Jeff Nodally. “That tree could have crushed him into little rice-bites. Get it? Rice bites? Anyhow, he’s doubly lucky that his wife had all these natural soap products that he could snack on.”
Sources close to the Rice family noted that Ken sampled and consumed as many as 17 of his wife’s hair and body care products stored in the shower.
“At first I was like, ‘I’m just gonna wait. Someone will notice that huge tree down’,” continued Mr. Rice. “But no one came. So my stomach started to growl, and boy did that coconut shampoo smell good. So I read the ingredients and most of them seemed natural and all. So I took a swig. Not too bad.”
According to the Rice family doctor, Mr. Rice consumed almost one gallon of shampoo, conditioner and even a bar of Ginger Bear soap he purchased for his wife as a Christmas gift at local boutique store Yuba Blue.
“It’s very important not to consume cleansing products,” said the Rice family doctor. “Ken is lucky to be alive. Certainly Ms. Rice’s hygiene products were ‘safer’ than others, but that doesn’t mean that you should eat them.”
Ken Rice is expected to make a full recovery from his ingestion of hair care products after a 3 day stay at Sierra Nevada Memorial Hospital in Grass Valley, CA.
“Yeah, I didn’t feel so good after eating that much. I think the lice shampoo did me in, honestly,” said a resigned Mr. Rice. “But on the upside, I pooped-out bubbles for a time. So that was fun.”