Los Angeles, CA — The eldest daughter of Carol and Mike Brady was hospitalized over the weekend due to extreme complications due to a recent measles outbreak. Although the family initially considered Marcia Brady’s condition to be “routine and minor,” even going as far as inviting neighborhood children over for a ‘Measles Party,’ the elder Brady was rushed to UCLA Medical Center late Friday night complaining of a headache and a high fever.
“Ms. Brady was admitted at 11:43 pm on Friday with an extremely high fever,” said attending physician and head of epidemiology Dr. Francis Johns. “In the Emergency [Room], she was presenting symptoms of acute Measles infection. She was complaining of blurred vision and a pounding headache.”
According to a spokesperson for UCLA Medical Center, Ms. Brady underwent both an MRI and CT Scan of her brain, which revealed severe encephalitis [brain swelling], which was contributing to her pain and blurred vision. The hospital immediately quarantined her in the infectious disease unit.
Although she spent the weekend sleeping and sedated, her Father and Mother issued a press statement.
Greg and Carol Brady Express Regret
“Having the measles was not a fun thing,” Mike and Carol Brady told NPR early Monday morning. “We remember it spread through our families as children. Our approach with Marcia was wrong and ill-informed. We encourage everyone to get vaccinated, and if you suspect you are infected, please see medical attention immediately.”
As for the other five Brady clan children, none have come down with the measles. However, this didn’t stop Marcia’s younger sister from complaining about her “getting all the attention.”
“This is just like Marcia,” said an annoyed and borderline irate middle daughter Jan Brady. “She’s always getting everything. It’s always Marcia, Marcia, Marcia. She even gets the good diseases. All I got was these ugly braces. It’s not fair! I’m going to go out and get Legionnaire’s disease. That will show everyone.”
According to UCLA Medical Center, Ms. Brady arrived for treatment just in time. Any later, and she could have suffered brain injuries or even blindness.