Mark Zuckerberg Sues Gish Gallop

Zuckerberg laughing his evil laugh as he attempts to stifle Free Speech
Zuckerberg laughing his evil laugh as he attempts to stifle Free Speech

Penn Valley, CAGish Gallop, normally a reliable source of local news, has landed itself in hot water for what authorities are calling “a cruel hoax.” Sources say that Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg had teamed up with hacktivist group Anonymous to trace the hoax post back to its origin. The post promises Zuckerberg is going to hand over a bunch of money to some dummy if they repost it.

Facebook Mark Zuckerberg is going to give away 4.5 million shares of his Facebook stock tonight at midnight; 10% to people like you and me! All you have to do is copy and paste this to your page and post. Facebook is doing this to show what a powerful tool of connection it is !!! Can’t wait to see who wins !!! This is not a hoax !!! It’s on Good Morning America !!

The original post appears to have originated at a South Carolina radio station, WNSJ. The station manager, Mitchell Hedberg, pointed investigators to an email from a Mr. Horace ‘Bored’ Georgeman. The email had been sent to WNSJ by Mr. Georgeman just one day before his untimely death. The radio station posted the email on their Facebook page as a feel-good story on September 9th. Mr. Georgeman was a full-time writer for Gish Gallop at the time he sent the email, and had not yet died.

Mark Zuckerberg has served a cease-and-desist on all publishing to our Penn Valley offices and issued a gag order to all Gish Gallop personnel. Gish Gallop may not publish anything until such time as Mr. Zuckerberg, and the State of California, permits. As this cease-and-desist is legally binding, Mr. Louis “Lou” LaPlante, Gish Gallop’s president has promised, “No deal!”

“We are the ones who watch the watchers,” pontificates LaPlante. “We were doing a little experiment to see how viral stupidity can go, but we wanted a timeline.” Explains Mr. LaPlante, “We had Horace [Georgeman] write-up some malarkey about Zuckerberg handing out cash to random people on some pretense or other. Since Horace was expected to unexpectedly die by the time this thing went viral, we assumed all legal and civil repercussions would die with him.”

That clearly is not the case. Besides not complying with the gag order and cease-and-desist, Gish Gallop has also promised not to pay a cent to Mr. Zuckerberg toward his $250,000,000 lawsuit against Gish Gallop. That is, of course, unless we win his money tonight. Good luck, and thanks for all the data.

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