Boston, MA — Following a bizarre incident this week where a six-car train with passengers on board left a suburban Boston transit station and went through four stations without stopping, the Massachusetts Bay Transportation Authority (MBTA) released a new music video in attempts to calm the American public. The video, which features segments of the runaway train with a music soundtrack featuring Soul Asylum’s 1993 power-ballad “Runaway Train,” has so far failed to capture the imagination of the greater Boston area.
Details of the incident are still under investigation, but according to Massachusetts Secretary of Transportation Stephanie Pollack the train operator got off the train at the Braintree station to execute a procedure that allows the train to travel if there is a signal problem. Operator error is the current focus of the investigation. Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump quickly blamed Muslims for the incident and repeated his demand for closure of the United States borders to anyone associated with Islam.
“Obviously this is a huge embarrassment for the MBTA,” said Secretary Pollack during a press conference yesterday. That’s why I commissioned our media relations department to put together a whimsical video to ‘lighten the mood’ a bit. We understand everyone is on edge with regard to the threat of domestic terrorism, so we thought a fun, shareable video would relieve some of the worry.”
When asked if this was an attempt to distract the public from both a crumbling public infrastructure system and the jingoistic rhetoric of the Trump campaign , Secretary Pollack bristled.
“No. This is in no way a project to distract anyone from anything,” continued a stern Secretary Pollack. “This is not about hand-waving. It’s just a simple, light-hearted video. There’s even an upside down part. Pretty clever.”