Washington, D.C. — An early morning retweet by President Trump has caused property damage across multiple states, causing many people to seek shelter from falling gunfire. The retweet, which featured a picture of a billboard encouraging 2nd Amendment supporters to shoot their guns into their vicinity, spread like wildfire across the Internet but has since been deleted without explanation by the White House.
The billboard was featured on top of the Elwood, Indiana hotel “The Ritz.” It was sponsored by the pro-gun organization Citizens Committee for the Right to Keep and Bear Arms or CCRKBA, which is the worst acronym known to humanity.
“I wanted to show my support for my gun rights and President Trump,” said Great Bend, Kansas resident James Pfannenstiel who fired his Beanfield Sniper Remington Sendero SF II rifle into the air on Main street after reading the President’s retweet early this morning. “I was having my coffee at the Kiowa Kitchen when I read his tweet [retweet], and I said ‘hey fellas, let’s show America what a patriot is.'”
At this point, according to police reports, Mr. Pfannenstiel marched into the street alone. He discharged his rifle as many as 14 times into the air, only stopping to reload and scream, “Kowabunga!” Within seconds bullets came showering down on cars and business in the usually quiet downtown Great Bend area. No one was hurt, but panic ensued for at least 30 minutes following the gun melee.
There were similar reports in other locations around the country, fortunately, with no injuries, however, many cities and towns reported significant damage to cars, homes, and businesses.
The tweet disappeared from Twitter by 8:13 am Eastern Daylight Time. There has been no comment from the White House other than to say the President is concentrating his efforts on the current hurricane disasters and Twitter.