Washington, D.C. –In a rare interview with online magazine Politico, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnel admitted that President Trump’s forefinger regularly “smells like ass.”
The odd and frank admission came after a serious of aggressive questions from interviewer Gary Adams where the journalists cornered Mr. McConnell on his unwavering support for Trump.
“We’ve been working with the President and his agenda. It’s what’s best for America,” said McConnell. “But sometimes the president can get passionate about his positions, and he’ll put his finger in your face. Often it smells like ass.”
The Kentucky senator has come under fire in recent weeks from critics who believe that he’s too close to Trump and not serving his duty to maintain the separation of powers as prescribed in the Constitution. His off-handed “ass” comment was seen by many as an attempt to distance himself from Trump and his potentially ass-soaked finger.
McConnell followed up his comments by stressing he’s not a fan of that ass smell.
“Not that I would know what that smells like, but my best guess it’s his ass,” continued McConnell. “I’m not sure why it smells like, but I have my theories. I’m sure you can use your imagination, but I wouldn’t recommend that.”
In the past, others in the White House have expressed concern about the President’s finger hygiene, but none have been so forthright as Mr. McConnel.
“It’s a thing in the West Wing,” said a source close to the President. “Everyone uses a lot of disinfecting wipes and gel after shaking hands with the President. Some think it’s one of his strategies to make people feel uncomfortable and gain the upper hand. Even foreign leaders know about it, but they keep their opinions and their hand gel to themselves.”
White House Press Secretary Stephanie Grisham said there is no truth to the rumors and that the President is “well known for his cleanliness and fear of germs.” And that these rumors have nothing to do with the President’s claim that average Americans are flushing their EPA-approved toilets “15 times per day.”