Merck Teams Up With Pepsi Co. To Make New Drink

Doctors around the world are excited for this new development.
Doctors around the world are excited about this new development.

Purchase, NY —The pharmaceutical giant, Merck & Co. is working with the people at Pepsi Co. to create and market a new beverage line. Allegedly it will be like Vitamin Water, but instead of mixing vitamins into the solutions formula, they will be adding new experimental oral vaccinations.

One might ask if there is a chance for over-dosage, but the claims against this worry are that the doses are so small, that you would need to drink an entire three gallons at once to even feel any negative effects and if you are that concerned about safety of vaccinations you should really think twice about drinking three gallons of anything. Additionally, the oral vaccines only last a few days, making this beverage much safer than drinking your own distilled urine to rid yourself of parasites.

Infamous anti-vaccination Internet troll, Hugh Nuts, upon discovering this information has already teamed up with Foodbabe and March Against Monsanto to boycott and protest these new drinks. Nuts seems to be releasing a series of unreadable memes that make his message somewhat unclear but we can plainly see the correlation of Pepsi and vaccines.

Smear campaigns against Pepsi have so far been overlooked in favor of the delicious soda they sell, so only time will tell if teaming up with science and medicine was a bold move or not for Pepsi.

Merck could not be reached for comment.

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