Nevada City, CA — There is no shortage of summer camps for kids in Nevada County, but a recent collaboration between the Western Nevada County Red Cross and the Mine Shaft Saloon has some local citizens scratching their heads.
“Seriously, a kid’s summer camp at the Mine Shaft?” questioned Ardwelia Kushborn, who lives with her husband Chick and their son Featherstone at Ananda Village up on the San Juan Ridge. “We have a nice summer camp at the North Columbia Schoolhouse, Camp Goofy Boots, where the kids learn how to start their own medicinal herb business, but I can’t condone a kids camp that encourages the recreational consumption of alcoholic beverages.”
Alex Jones, owner of the Mine Shaft Saloon, claims that the critics have it all wrong. “Our Camp Cocktail is about mixing drinks, not drinking drinks. Sheesh already. Working in a saloon is humanity’s third-oldest profession, and a very honorable one at that. Why can’t people just pick up the phone and call me?”
Camp Director Jango “Fett” Williams, a 42-year-old former Paramarine from Camp Pendleton, agreed. “When the Marine Corps disbanded the Paramarine program, I was homeless and jobless for a few years. I know what it’s like not having a college degree like the rich kids in Escondido. When I finally got a job as a bartender in Encinitas, it saved my life. Now I just want to share what I’ve learned.”
Gish Gallop asked Jones, why would the Mine Shaft Saloon enter into a kids-camp partnership with the Red Cross? “It’s a natural,” replied Jones, “there are a lot of people out there who will be experiencing extended bouts of unemployment in the 21st century, especially men and boys. Selling their blood is one way future breadwinners will pay the bills when they’re between gigs.”
Camp curriculum includes the following daily activities:
- 10 am — Around the room daily check in, why do you want to be a bartender/give blood?
- 10:25 am — Prepping the bar, ordering supplies, understanding vendor relations
- 11 am — Umbrella drinks, are they really necessary?
- 12 noon — LUNCH AT FRED’S
- 1 pm — Naptime
- 2 pm — Mixology, a focus on the art and craft of mixing cocktails, studying the classics, concocting new and exotic drinks, experimenting with lesser known distilled spirits and mixers, and, overall, pushing the limits of classic bartending
- 3 pm — Free Time
- 3:30 pm — Plasma or regular blood, which provides the best return?
Camp Cocktail begins Monday, August 4th, and continues Monday through Friday until Tuesday, August 12th. For further questions, or if you’d just like to sign up, head on over to the Mine Shaft Saloon and ask for Alex Jones or Jango Williams.