Nevada City, CA — According to sources close to the iconic Nevada City landmark the Miners Foundry, the non-profit community center is seeking a grant to improve its sound system to attract bigger acts and more obviously to annoy old people with a more modern sound system.
According to sources close to the fundraising campaign, in order to attract modern acts and annoy the Lawrence Welk fan base, the Foundry needs new professional equipment. Currently the center has to borrow and sometimes beg to get the equipment that professional acts require.
“I don’t like this loud stuff one bit,” said an annoyed Mary Shilling of Penn Valley. “Isn’t it loud enough in there already? And why do we need all these young rock and roll groups anyway with their foul language and shady attire. The sound is fine the way it is for us folks who go there.”
Not everyone is as confused about the modern economy as Ms. Shilling.
“This is a fantastic opportunity to help the Foundry folks,”said Nevada City‘s self-appointed spokesperson Sairhra Ramun. “Look, it’s real simple. Better audio gear gets us better and more modern acts. This helps keep the community from turning into a retirement community like Scottsdale Arizona.”
“Truthfully, for most acts I can get decent volume out of the cheap plastic boxes.” said Mr. Cameron in a Gish Gallop Interview. “But it’s always a sticking point with the bigger bands. And we have to turn down acts that demand the rider is fulfilled because adding in the rental cost for a solid monitor rig puts the Foundry way over budget.”
People interested in helping the Foundry can do so by voting for this project on Federal Express’ Small Business Grant page: FedEx Small Business Grants.
You can vote using your Facebook, Twitter or other social media service.