Grass Valley, CA — The non-profit association of general contractors, sub-contractors, building material suppliers, and other related construction industry businesses, the Nevada County Contractors’[sic] Association or NCCA announced late Monday night that they plan on erecting a small metal shed in former Grass Valley City Council member and anonymous informant Steve Enos’ backyard.
“Look, we really appreciate all the hard work Steve has done,” said an NCCA spokesman. “And nothing expresses gratitude more than a Sears tool shed in your backyard. It’s the least we could do for all of his work in ‘cleaning out’ the anti-development folks from our local government. That Lamphier thing he did was a profitable stroke of genius for us going forward.”
Despite the organizations goals to “promote, foster and maintain integrity in business relations and ethical practices within the construction industry,” there have been questions as to whether Terry Lamphier’s recent investigation might be tied to his open opposition to the group. It is common knowledge that there is no “love lost” between the two parties. And with Mr. Lamphier back on the development-hungry Grass Valley City Council, there seems to be plenty of motive to build tool sheds for his enemies.
“You might want to get the details from Steve,” continued the NCCA spokesman, “but he’s pretty worn out with his recent fishing trip with Putin. That guy sure gets around. I really don’t know anything more than he’s getting a tool shed.”
It is unclear at the time of this writing exactly why Mr. Enos is only getting a metal shed for his efforts. Locals, upon hearing of the NCCA “expression of gratitude,” were surprised that it wasn’t more substantial.
“I mean, it could have been a deck or even a bathroom remodel,” said a confused Fun Park worker Amanda Fischer. “It just seems kinda cheap if you ask me. No wonder he kept his identity a secret for so long.”
To see if you can do some pro-development “side work” for the NCCA and get a free tool shed for yourself, please visit their website: http://nccabuildingpros.com/