Neighbor Extends Friendship with Large Inedible Zucchinis

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One of Melba Felder's 147 huge zucchini squashes
One of Melba Felder’s 94 huge zucchini squashes

Grass Valley, CA — Grass Valley resident and  home gardener Melba Felder decided it was time to be “neighborly” with the people on her street by sharing her large, overgrown, fibrous and mostly inedible Zucchini squashes with her Rhode Island Street neighbors.

“I just love to garden,” said Ms. Felder during a phone interview. “I have 13 zucchini plants that have produced so much. And they grow so big and sometimes you can’t see them until they’re over a 1 1/2 feet long or more. Oh my.”

Zucchini is typically treated as a vegetable and  is usually cooked  as a savory dish or accompaniment. Botanically, however, zucchini is a fruit, being the swollen ovary of the zucchini flower. (You read that correctly, it’s a fruit. That still doesn’t mean your kids will eat it. And we did say swollen ovary. Yum.) Zucchini, like all squash, has its ancestry in the Americas. Generally the smaller the zucchini, the better they are to eat. Large zucchini can be very woody, fibrous and a great way to annoy family and neighbors.

Gish Gallop spoke with some of Ms. Felder’s neighbors after she dropped the gargantuan zucchini squashes.

“What the hell do you do with these huge things, ” questioned a concerned neighbor Lee Corneys. “This thing is almost 2 feet long. I called my mom and she told me to stuff it with something. I can’t imagine it tasting very good. And I’ve got 9 of these things. Maybe I’ll throw them at the kids when they get mouthy.”

Not all neighbors were as ungracious as Mr. Corneys.

“I dunno, I kinda like them,” said next door neighbor Sue Huan. “I’m certainly not going to eat them, but it was a sweet gesture.”

Ms. Felder noted that after she’s done sharing her 94 overgrown zucchini squashes, she is certain that the neighborhood will be a friendly place to live.

 

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