Nevada City, CA — Making news by being the target of a lawsuit was not at all what home based Nevada City attorney Michael Nudelman had in mind when he signed up to participate in the highly competitive top-rated talk show “The View”, where contestants start with a view-less property and create stunning views by deforesting. He was gobsmacked to find himself the target of a lawsuit filed by the Bear Yuba Land Trust, owner of the property on which he chose to cut view inhibiting trees.
“The action is based on a misunderstanding,” stated a shocked and confused Nudelman. In his first public statement following notification of litigation, Nudelman indicated surprise by the reaction to his efforts to remain competitive in the local reality show. “The fact that the trees are on someone else’s property is frankly irrelevant, as is the trespassing. This is a competition, for god’s sakes.”
As a lawyer, Nudelman is ingrained with a desire to win. How is he supposed to win if his neighbor won’t allow him to cut the trees? After all, he did ask permission, though it wasn’t granted. What was he supposed to do? Besides, he contends, the Land Trust has a lot of other trees. “Sure, these were old growth wildlife habitat, but surely the Land Trust should have been gracious and respectful enough of its neighbors to ignore this, right?” Nudelman sniveled. “I just wanted to win for a change, and The View provided a real opportunity for me to do that. I’m really a great guy.”
Offered as testimonial to his stellar character and upstanding ethics, Nudelman’s business website (http://www.michaelnudelman.com) demonstrates how he has built his reputation by persuading other to do the right thing, by helping negotiate in difficult business environments and deal with unscrupulous competition, and states that he can help you seek redress, or limit your exposure to harm.
Nudelman, who prides himself in being able to bring adversarial conflict to an end through mediation, has offered to mediate on behalf of the Land Trust in this conflict, citing opportunities to better the environment in the process.
“Perhaps Verizon could be persuaded to put up 5 beautiful and realistic mono pines that will cover the gaping hole in the landscape and improve cell service at the same time,” continued Mr. Nudelman. “Mono pines are actually nicer than real trees for many reasons. They don’t shed pine needles and you can make them as tall as you want. In addition, they don’t attract or succumb to bark beetles. And the only ones who can really tell the difference are peeing dogs and the monkey of that crazy Nevada City accordion player.”
Further, he offered to uproot all of those trees around all of that dirt could also create a great ATV spot to lessen the pressure on and actually improve the conservation of the Greenhorn Creek area.
“It’s a win-win, you know,” said a confident Mr. Nudelman. “You know, ‘I win, you think you win?'”
Besides, no one has said he himself cut the trees. The masters of dead-of-the-night undercover flash mob tree cutting, Crown Tree Service are named in the suit as being the alleged tree murderers. Crown Tree Service is infamous for another entry in “The View” Reality Show, the dawn massacre of dozens of trees at the Penn Valley Gateway Center.
Finally, you will note that the area in contention is called “Woodpecker Preserve.” To the best of Nudelman’s knowledge, no woodpeckers were directly attacked, and therefore no crime has been committed.
Speaking as the sole voice in solidarity with Nudelman, Ian Garfinkle shames the Bear Yuba Land Trust.
“The Land Trust is so ungrateful,” said Mr. Garfinkle. “Look what a huge favor he has done for you.”
Garfinkle was the last man to face off with the Land Trust in a courtroom and points out that the Land Trust certainly doesn’t recognize capital improvement and it not very good at reality shows, specifically “The View”. He adds, “No wonder they can’t see the big picture. They have all those pesky trees in the way.”
“Land Trust,” Nudelman reminds them, “you have plenty of trees left to hug. They’re just plants, you know, like big bunches of lettuce.”