Nevada City Man Arrested at Trump Event Released on Bail

Willow Sunblaze of Nevada City, CA and an unspecified woman. Source Willow Sunblaze
Willow Sunblaze of Nevada City, CA and an unspecified woman along the Yuba River. Source: Willow Sunblaze

Mobile, AL — “Willow” Sunblaze of Nevada City, CA was arrested at GOP presidential candidate Donald Trump’s New York City rally. He has since been released after posting his $40,000 bond in cash. The actual cash smelled very “musky” explained dispatchers, who took the cash and issued Mr. Sunblaze a receipt, but pointed out that “cash is cash, no matter how it smells.”

“I was going to be home in time to hang these weird Terrazzo lights on Commercial Street downtown (in Nevada City, CA),” Sunblaze told Gish Gallop by phone, “But I had to do a quick ‘delivery’ to some of my friends in Albany. While there I scored a ticket to a Trump rally. I decided to fly a ‘People Matter’ sign.”

That sign landed Mr. Sunblaze in jail.

“Yeah, Trump called me out for my sign and told everybody to ‘beat the shit’ out of me. Luckily security was there to protect me. The crowd was a bunch of animals,” exclaimed Mr. Sunblaze, “they would have done it! They would have killed me. I guess my sign was off-message. People don’t matter, I guess.”

Penn Valley, CA resident and founder of Bring Glenn Beck Back to Nevada County Brock Whalen witnessed the entire protest and arrest.

“It was terrifying. I yelled “White Power!” to try to get Trump to notice me, but he never did. He just kept yelling at the guy with the “People Matter” sign, complains Whalen, “when I yelled ‘White Power!’ again, Trump looked at me and nodded as if in approval, but he still seemed focused on what security was doing to that hippie who, by then, was bleeding and crying…and on the ground.”

Mr. Sunblaze was taken to an area hospital in handcuffs to be treated for his injuries.

“I was a little surprised at the rough treatment by security and police, considering my ‘bro Brock kept trying to distract them. It turns out that he kept yelling ‘White Power!’ long after I was dragged from the building, so now I have a little doubt about if his chanting was to try to protect me,” observed Mr. Sunblaze, “the first one, yeah, but 6 or 7 times more? That seems like he did that for himself…like maybe he is a racist or something.”

Brock Whalen denies knowing Willow Sunblaze and seemed surprised when we told him that they were virtually neighbors.

“I had no idea the guy was from the same neck of the woods as me,” Mr. Whalen told Gish Gallop by phone, “what the hell was he doing in New York? I have my reasons for being here. He is just, I assume, another unemployed hippie with too much free time.”

As of the time of this writing, Whalen has been unmolested for his ‘White Power!’ chanting.

 

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s88m88h .
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s88m88h .

HAHAHA WILLOW SUNBLAZE!!!! #whatafag

s88m88h .
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s88m88h .

HAHAHA WILLOW SUNBLAZE!!!! #whatafag

TheDirtmover
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TheDirtmover

Hay,,, it’s not every day down in the South they get a chance to thump on a Ca. Hippie.
That’s right up there with bigfoot sightings.

TheDirtmover
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TheDirtmover

Hay,,, it’s not every day down in the South they get a chance to thump on a Ca. Hippie.
That’s right up there with bigfoot sightings.