New Girl Scout Cookies Address Wage Inequality

Local Girl Scouts will be selling "awareness cookies" out in front of area grocery stores.
Local Girl Scouts will be selling “awareness cookies” out in front of area grocery stores.

Nevada County, CA — It’s that time again, time for Girl Scout Cookie sales. Just when you thought you were safely on your New Years diet, you starting getting the phone calls from your local Girl Scout troop asking for your box count. Admit it, you can hardly wait.

This year the Girl Scouts of America have expanded their social outreach to include some of the more pressing issues confronting Women across the world. To accomplish this, the 103 year old organization has announced a limited-time line of what they are calling “awareness cookies” which will augment the current cookie offerings which include Carmel deLites, formerly known as Samoas, Peanut Butter Patties and the family hoarding favorite, Thin Mints.

“This is a fantastic idea in keeping with the long tradition Girl Scouts’ promise to be ‘Considerate and Caring’ and to ‘make the world a better place’,” said organizer Alicia Dana Rangel. “I know there will be people who say this is harsh or even inappropriate, but these kinds of things are happening around the world.”

Wage Equality Wafers awareness cookies being sold by local Girl Scouts.
Wage Equality Wafers awareness cookies being sold by local Girl Scouts.

According to a pre-release box obtained by Gish Gallop, some of the new cookies offerings include: Wage Equality Wafers, Dowry Butter Delights and the somewhat controversial Carmel Genital Mutilation Florentine Biscuits. Each of these themed cookies is designed to draw awareness to a pressing and often underrepresented Women’s issue. Along with every  new cookie offering, each Girl Scout Troop is receiving an hour-long video describing the above issues, and instruction on how to introduce these sensitive, yet important social activists topics out in front of local grocery stores.

However, not everyone is happy about what appears to be the politicizing of America’s oldest and arguably most wholesome institution.

“This is completely inappropriate for children to be exposed to this kind of thing,” said Mary Shilling of Penn Valley out in front of Raley’s in Grass Valley, “I mean this stuff happens elsewhere, but not here in America. What’s next? Michelle Obama‘s nutrition talking points?”

Sources told Gish Gallop that this is a trial run for this year, and that the Girl Scouts plan on experimenting with other social awareness issues next year.