Grass Valley, CA — Nevada Union High School started off its year with a closed campus and healthier food offerings at lunch time. This change in the school lunch menu, means students will have access to more whole foods and less processed, canned and generally less nutritious items. What is being hailed as a major advance in school time nutrition, is also being criticized by local Conservatives as “incentivizing” massive illegal immigration into Nevada County.
“It’s easy to understand,” said Mark Lenti from his Lake of the Pines, CA home. “We moved here to get away from all this riffraff. You know? The worst thing that could happen is our schools could get healthier, which would encourage more illegal immigration to our county. It’s a very simple equation to understand. This has the markings of Michelle Obama.”
The recent immigration crisis at the Nation’s southern borders has recently taken a backseat while the country is obsessed with Ebola outbreaks and Ice Bucket Challenges. However, it continues to be a significant issue and local Conservatives are worried about both coming to Nevada County.
“All these diseases and immigrants invading us here,” said Julia White from her Grass Valley home, “and no one is doing anything to stop it. Now they’re encouraging it with these better meals at NU [Nevada Union High School]. They not only want a free education, they want our children’s delicious food now. It’s really terrifying. I’m scared for my kids.”
According to the Department of Immigration and Naturalization Service (INS), Nevada County is not threatened by an influx of immigrants from south of the border neither in the short-term during this crisis period, nor over an extended period of time. According to the most recent census data, Nevada County is nearly 93% white, and will continue to be that way into the foreseeable future.
“We’re preparing here for any eventuality,” continued Mr. Lenti. “We’re stocking up on canned foods, rice and Beatles memorabilia, which we figure will be worth something after the downfall from disease and the illegal masses. I’ve got a Mormon friend, and he’s been coaching me how to do it. Well, the Beatles thing was my idea.”