Obama Tours Underground Cuban Missile Silo

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Presidents Castro and Obama sharing a laugh inside a Cuban Missile silo.
Presidents Castro and Obama sharing a laugh inside a Cuban Missile silo.

Santa Clara, Cuba — In a surprise detour that even surprised his supporters, President Obama paid an unexpected visit to one of Cuba’s 14 silos located outside Santa Clara earlier this afternoon, the Agencia de Noticias del Estado Cuba (Cuba State News Agency) is reporting. According to the news agency, President Obama was invited by an enthusiastic President Raúl Castro who wanted “to show him something.”

“This wasn’t on the official itinerary, but there’s always wiggle room,” said White House Press Secretary Josh Ernest who had to answer press questions about the admittedly odd missile silo tour. “However, as President Obama and Castro were making their way to a regional festival just outside of Santa Clara, President Castro leaned over to President Obama and asked him, ‘Do you want to see something really spectacular?’ And the President being how he is, said ‘yes’.”

According to press pool reports, the group of cars pulled into what looked like an overgrown grassy field with a few banana trees. Surrounding the facility was a rusty 15 foot cyclone fence. The motorcade entered the grounds and Castro leapt out of the car with excitement waving his hands at Obama to hurry him along. The two men entered the missile silo accompanied by security forces and a select number of press representatives.

The not-so-secret now Cuban missile facility outside of Santa Clara, Cuba.
The not-so-secret now Cuban missile facility outside of Santa Clara, Cuba.

As they descended to the bottom of Silo #3, Castro, through an interpreter, explained the entire program to President Obama who listened intently even laughing out loud at some Castro’s crude cold war era humor. He explained how the Soviets helped them build the facility, and how after 1991, they had to learn to operate all of the 1960s technology. At one point, President Castro said they were using old Chevy parts to repair some of the launch systems.

The Department of Defense had no comment on the sudden discovery of an ICBM missile facility some 90 miles from the United States mainland, however sources close to the DoD, speaking on terms of anonymity said that the leadership was both shocked and concerned about this development.

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