Officials Urge Calm During Upcoming Military/Martial Law Exercise

Local authorities are urging calm during the upcoming military exercise in Grass Valley.
Local authorities are urging calm during the upcoming military exercise in Grass Valley.

Nevada County, CA — Nevada County Police will be collaborating with the FBI, the ATF  and other Department of Homeland Security agencies to conduct ‘martial law-type scenarios’ in Nevada County at an unspecified time later this year.

“This is not another ‘Jade Helm,'” explained Sheriff Keith Royal. “The people you will see being yanked off the streets here and there by jack-booted, militant-looking thugs in uniform in the coming months are just actors paid to look absolutely horrified and victimized. This is nothing like the Obama mission that happened in Texas. There, in Texas, it was the real deal. Not here. Not in my county…umm, not in our county.”

Jade Helm 15 was the project by which President Obama was using the U.S. Military to annex Texas to the United States earlier last year, using military force when necessary. Texans vowed to ‘not give in without a fight’, and did in fact fire shots.

According to Army Lt. Col. Mark Lastoria, a USASOC spokesman, the upcoming exercise called NC-17 is scheduled to take place this harvest season at several locations in Grass Valley, Nevada City, Penn Valley, Rough and Ready. The Lieutenant made a point to mention that neither North San Juan nor Cedar Ridge will be included as they are considered “too hostile.”  The exercise is routine training to maintain a high level of readiness for heavily armed Police Forces because they must be ready to support potential missions anywhere in the county on a moment’s notice.

Military Vehicles in route to Nevada County
Military Vehicles en route to Nevada County

“The only thing unique about this particular exercise,” said an oddly confident Lt. Col. Lastoria, which is slated to take place during [redacted], “is ‘the use of new challenging terrain’ which was chosen because it is similar to conditions special operations Police Forces operate in and around marijuana growing operations.”

There will be hastily prepared “evacuation camps” staged in rural areas outside each city limits. Gish Gallop was assured that the camp ‘prisoners’ and ‘staff’ will also be played by actors mimicking civil disobedience.

Nevada County Sheriff Keith Royal points out that these upcoming operations in the county will “give The Department of Homeland Security the confidence that our region can deal with large-scale attacks of all sorts, be that ISIS, illegal aliens, people already in custody and their attorneys, or marijuana growers.”

Nevada City Police Chief Tim Foley has urged that residents stay calm and not panic when they see the mass arrests of their neighbors occurring, stressing, “again, the people you will see getting thrown down and cuffed en-masse are paid actors. No real harm is coming to them…unless Rudiger bites somebody on accident.”

Rudiger is the name of Nevada City’s newest addition to its police force. A German Shepherd dog.