Officials Urge Calm During Upcoming Military/Martial Law Exercise

Local authorities are urging calm during the upcoming military exercise in Grass Valley.
Local authorities are urging calm during the upcoming military exercise in Grass Valley.

Nevada County, CA — Nevada County Police will be collaborating with the FBI, the ATF  and other Department of Homeland Security agencies to conduct ‘martial law-type scenarios’ in Nevada County at an unspecified time later this year.

“This is not another ‘Jade Helm,'” explained Sheriff Keith Royal. “The people you will see being yanked off the streets here and there by jack-booted, militant-looking thugs in uniform in the coming months are just actors paid to look absolutely horrified and victimized. This is nothing like the Obama mission that happened in Texas. There, in Texas, it was the real deal. Not here. Not in my county…umm, not in our county.”

Jade Helm 15 was the project by which President Obama was using the U.S. Military to annex Texas to the United States earlier last year, using military force when necessary. Texans vowed to ‘not give in without a fight’, and did in fact fire shots.

According to Army Lt. Col. Mark Lastoria, a USASOC spokesman, the upcoming exercise called NC-17 is scheduled to take place this harvest season at several locations in Grass Valley, Nevada City, Penn Valley, Rough and Ready. The Lieutenant made a point to mention that neither North San Juan nor Cedar Ridge will be included as they are considered “too hostile.”  The exercise is routine training to maintain a high level of readiness for heavily armed Police Forces because they must be ready to support potential missions anywhere in the county on a moment’s notice.

Military Vehicles in route to Nevada County
Military Vehicles en route to Nevada County

“The only thing unique about this particular exercise,” said an oddly confident Lt. Col. Lastoria, which is slated to take place during [redacted], “is ‘the use of new challenging terrain’ which was chosen because it is similar to conditions special operations Police Forces operate in and around marijuana growing operations.”

There will be hastily prepared “evacuation camps” staged in rural areas outside each city limits. Gish Gallop was assured that the camp ‘prisoners’ and ‘staff’ will also be played by actors mimicking civil disobedience.

Nevada County Sheriff Keith Royal points out that these upcoming operations in the county will “give The Department of Homeland Security the confidence that our region can deal with large-scale attacks of all sorts, be that ISIS, illegal aliens, people already in custody and their attorneys, or marijuana growers.”

Nevada City Police Chief Tim Foley has urged that residents stay calm and not panic when they see the mass arrests of their neighbors occurring, stressing, “again, the people you will see getting thrown down and cuffed en-masse are paid actors. No real harm is coming to them…unless Rudiger bites somebody on accident.”

Rudiger is the name of Nevada City’s newest addition to its police force. A German Shepherd dog.

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Gregg M KoehlerB.A. GrissomToddNorrisHolli DielWebmaster Tim Recent comment authors
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Delaney Faris
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Cedar Ridge is hostile. I’ll have to remember than. I thought it was Alta Sierra.

randallfinkelstein
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randallfinkelstein

No one comes out of their homes in Alta Sierra.

Gregg M Koehler
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Gregg M Koehler

True that, I haven’t left my house in Alta sierra in 15 years

Gregg M Koehler
Guest
Gregg M Koehler

True that, I haven’t left my house in Alta sierra in 15 years

Michael Donoho
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Michael Donoho

This smells.. Keep asking why do we need to train for martial law in the USA ..?

Delaney Faris
Guest

This is satire — our best weapon against martial law. They can’t take us over if we’re laughing at them … well, yeah, they probably can, but we’ll make them feel bad about it.

B.A. Grissom
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B.A. Grissom

Feel like a fool yet? lol JADE HELM 15 is nearing completion here in my part of Texas. They were nice guys. They couldn’t believe people though they were out to harm their own. Actually kind hurt their feelings I believe. You people really look stupid now and it’s all saved online for all to see. lol

Charles T. Gore
Guest

OK Sheriff Royall, when will this take place and why???

Rod Scott
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Rod Scott

Or, OK Sheriff, I’m an out of work actor, with loads of experience at looking absolutely horrified and victimized, where can I apply for a job?

Holli Diel
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Holli Diel

Satire, however, I will prepare as if it were about to happen.

Webmaster Tim
Guest

No need to prepare. The Feds aren’t interested in CA. They’re focusing primarily on Texas.

Holli Diel
Guest
Holli Diel

It NEVER hurts to be prepared for anything these days…

Webmaster Tim
Guest

We’ve prepared at Gish Gallop offices by storing Beatles memorabilia and beans and rice. Lou LaPlante has the guns.

B.A. Grissom
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B.A. Grissom

So it makes sense to fear those that protect us? Are you now going to dig a hole and hide from the Apocalyptic Asteroid fall next month? lol If you live your life by Conspiracy Theories you might as well stay in the hole. I don’t live my life fearing everything that’s said on Facebook or YouTube. I carry on normally, if something happens it happens.

Holli Diel
Guest
Holli Diel

Our government doesn’t, “Protect us”….what a laugh, all they protect is their money and power! You are one side of the prepping extreme, the, “Whatever happens, happens” crowd, not only that you’re taunting your early demise by smoking… I feel it’s perfectly normal to stock up in the event something, anything happens, no hole digging here…

B.A. Grissom
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B.A. Grissom

If you wanna live in fear that’s your choice, what has there been to BE PREPARED FOR so far? lol All fake/fantasy so far.

B.A. Grissom
Guest
B.A. Grissom

What a nut!; Are they attacking anyone anywhere now? Lol The exercise is over half completed now.

B.A. Grissom
Guest
B.A. Grissom

This post is CRAP. JADE HELM 15 is not Obama’s project but thought up and planned by the military ONLY. Conspiracy Theorists and Idiots make it out yo be more than it is which is ONLY AN EXERCISE.Scaring people is a tactic used by certain individuals on Facebook and YouTube to get more viewers and therefore more LIKES on their Page or Channel. Anyone that believes out military will attack the people they’re Sworn to protect can’t be tight upstairs or just plain IDIOTS!

Webmaster Tim
Guest

Thanks a bunch.

Webmaster Tim
Guest

Why do you hate the Beatles?

B.A. Grissom
Guest
B.A. Grissom

Are you talking to me? What does asking if the military is attacking them got to do with the Beatles? People are really stupid nowadays. The person above me commented on the Beatles, not me.

ToddNorris
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ToddNorris

Glad to see we’ll be ready to lick theTea Party when they become violent. I hope they bought enough of those rectangular boxes!