Outrage: The Union Newspaper Publishing Fake News

Counterfeit Authentic Magnified Grass Valley, CA Gish Gallop has learned that The Union newspaper, a publication that prides itself on 150 years of tradition and a 92-year-old battle with Gish Gallop, is publishing fake news.

In what appears to be an effort to raise viewership, The Union has dropped a series of articles that appear to be untrue. More concerning, these articles are totally pandering to their readership.

On July 9th, 2014, The Union published a fake news article about the Golden Chance Bodega “store” on Neal Street in Grass Valley, CA. In the article, the reporter “Ivan Natividad,” an obvious anarchist pseudonym, claims that this new store is some kind of Brooklyn hipster joint featuring clothes AND food. (Note the CAPS.) Food and clothes? In Grass Valley?

(Mr. Natividad must have anticipated the journalistic outrage here at the Penn Valley Gish Gallop offices, because his prose is intractable and virtually unquotable. Touche   young Skywalker…touche. But we will persevere, for nothing if not the integrity of the loyal Gish Gallop readers, to uncover this local anathema. Big word, I know.)

[There, it passed]

First off, there’s no way a place that has the word “Hotep” scrawled across the floor would be anywhere in Grass Valley. Nevada City, yes. Grass Valley? No way. Too hippie-like. Secondly, there is no everlasting life in Grass Valley. Well except for the Episcopals and the Unitarians on Church Street (sorry Baptists). All eternal life in Nevada County has been relegated, unfortunately, to the Nevada City Sierra Presbyterian Church.

And then there’s this “Michael Johnson.” Pfft. Another fabrication in the devious mind of Mr. “Natividad.” Think about it dear Gish Gallop readers: A 38-year-old, half-Nigerian transplant from Philadelphia, then Maryland, using his childhood roots to build a Bodega…in Grass Valley, California? NUTS. Selling lobsters? With a tanning booth? And renting mopeds out front?

Come on Union. Row a little harder. We’re not dumb. And we’re watching you.

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SonyaLouis LaPlanteBradley JacksonWebmaster TimSonya Recent comment authors
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Sonya
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Sonya

I tried to click on the link to read the original Union story, but it requires me to pay for a subscription. Can someone please share with me a username and password so I don’t have to pay?

Louis LaPlante
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No Sonya, you cannot borrow my Union password. Perhaps you could prevail upon one of your “massage” customers?

–Lou

Louis LaPlante
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Gosh Sonya, let me get right on that. In the meantime, do you have a lifetime pass to Disneyland that I can borrow? Oh, and can I have your car? I need a car but I don’t really want to pay for one. See, I like free stuff instead of paying for stuff, even if I have to steal it. Thanks Sonya.

–Lou

Sonya
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Sonya

Disneyland is actually worth paying for, unlike the Union’s stories. Well, maybe i’d pay to read the police blotter, but i can get that for free from other sources. So , can i borrow your Union password? I have stuff i can trade, like a couple bong hits from last years crop, or a quick peek under my skirt, but its gotta be quick?

Bradley Jackson
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Bradley Jackson

Sorry, you need to do some real reporting Gish Gallop. The “Bodega” never opened, it was a scam. If you visit it now you see the final court notice posted on the front door for eviction. The power has been turned off for non payment long ago. Most the gold painted crap has been removed from the building. Check with NCSO and you will find the “owner” has a lot of legal issues for a wide ranger of things like drugs. He is reported to also have legal problems in Las Vegas. Seems the owner has been spending some time… Read more »

Webmaster Tim
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Thanks.

Bradley Jackson
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Bradley Jackson

Seems bounty hunters from Las Vegas and back east too are looking for Mr. Johnson.