In what appears to be an effort to raise viewership, The Union has dropped a series of articles that appear to be untrue. More concerning, these articles are totally pandering to their readership.
On July 9th, 2014, The Union published a fake news article about the Golden Chance Bodega “store” on Neal Street in Grass Valley, CA. In the article, the reporter “Ivan Natividad,” an obvious anarchist pseudonym, claims that this new store is some kind of Brooklyn hipster joint featuring clothes AND food. (Note the CAPS.) Food and clothes? In Grass Valley?
(Mr. Natividad must have anticipated the journalistic outrage here at the Penn Valley Gish Gallop offices, because his prose is intractable and virtually unquotable. Touche young Skywalker…touche. But we will persevere, for nothing if not the integrity of the loyal Gish Gallop readers, to uncover this local anathema. Big word, I know.)
First off, there’s no way a place that has the word “Hotep” scrawled across the floor would be anywhere in Grass Valley. Nevada City, yes. Grass Valley? No way. Too hippie-like. Secondly, there is no everlasting life in Grass Valley. Well except for the Episcopals and the Unitarians on Church Street (sorry Baptists). All eternal life in Nevada County has been relegated, unfortunately, to the Nevada City Sierra Presbyterian Church.
And then there’s this “Michael Johnson.” Pfft. Another fabrication in the devious mind of Mr. “Natividad.” Think about it dear Gish Gallop readers: A 38-year-old, half-Nigerian transplant from Philadelphia, then Maryland, using his childhood roots to build a Bodega…in Grass Valley, California? NUTS. Selling lobsters? With a tanning booth? And renting mopeds out front?
Come on Union. Row a little harder. We’re not dumb. And we’re watching you.