Alexandria, VA — A self-proclaimed, Virginia-based patriot group announced plans over the weekend to launch a series of protests Halloween night to highlight what they call the “indoctrination of our children by anti-American, globalist forces.” The group APART or Armed Patriots Against Radical Terrorists is led by outspoken Trump supporter Rob Remus who has recently raids on suspected Islamic terrorist training camps and “Mexican insurgents” along the border of the United States. Mr. Remus has gone mysteriously missing following the recent border shootout, his son Dale Remus is leading the charge for freedom and liberty against UNICEF’s annual fund-raising program for children.
“George Soros wants to get ’em while they’re young,” said the younger Remus speaking via telephone from an undisclosed location. “And I gotta tell ya, this ‘program’ by the United Nations has nothing to do with helping kids around the world. It’s a scam to take our American money and use it against us to take our guns and freedoms. This UNICEF thing is nothing more than a shadow operation for globalists.”
Trick-or-Treat for UNICEF was invented by Mary Emma Allison, the wife of Presbyterian minister Clyde Allison. In 1949, the Allisons were living in Bridesburg, a neighborhood in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, United States. When Mrs. Allison saw a UNICEF booth collecting funds to send powdered milk to undernourished children around the world, she thought of getting children to collect donations for UNICEF instead of candy. Over the years the program has raised over 100 million dollars, however APART sees through the program’s shenanigans.
“There are so many things wrong with this,” continued Mr. Remus. “It’s like any other silent war going on in this country. You know, like the war on Christmas and the war on Easter and stuff like that. Halloween is about getting candy. It’s probably one of the most America of all holidays. Anyhow, think about UNICEF is teaching these kids. They’re teaching them that some globalist power is trying to take American money and give it to some country overseas. Then they’ll rise against us. Get it now?”
According to their Facebook page, APART is coordinating protests with other alt-right groups across the country via Twitter’s private messaging system. According to intercepted communications, many of the groups plan “armed presidential election day-type” protests across the country to show the world that the “globalist don’t have any power here.”
“Well, it’s more complicated than that. I mean, we’ve thought this through,” said Dale has the tone of his voice began to rise. “It’s about showing the kids what’s important. Priorities, like God, guns, America and of course candy. And Jesus pencils, I suppose. You know, like the Presbyterians handout on my street. [editor’s note: there was a 20-second pause] Anyhow All of this is part of the plan to take back America. it’s about exercising our 2nd Amendment rights on the 31st. Plus, it’s an opportunity to educate the kids and their liberal parents about what George Soros and Saul Alinsky are trying to do with our way of life.”