Renton, WA — Pfizer Corporation, creator of drugs like cholesterol drug Lipitor, the erectile dysfunction drug Viagra and ChapStik lip balm, has created the world’s first NON-GMO vaccine for children. Pfizer will begin rolling out their MMR vaccine in the next few weeks after receiving FDA approval. The vaccine has been in the works for years following complaints from concerned parents who refuse to vaccinate their children. Pfizer hopes this breakthrough will convince those parents that there is nothing to fear from vaccines.
Pfizer spokesman Steve Reiner spoke to Gish Gallop about the new vaccines.
“It truly is a miracle and should finally put to rest the concerns about vaccinations,” said Reiner. “We are now using all natural Mercury in our vaccines, so cases of autism should be milder than those from earlier vaccines.”
Former anti-vaxxer Tina Strahan said, “This changes everything, finally big pharma has listened to the people. My kids will be in line for their shots next week.”
Pfizer spent an unprecedented $5.3 million dollars creating the new vaccine. They are now asking states to make their vaccine mandatory for kids between ages 3-7. The California legislature is creating a bill to pass the measure in the coming weeks, the push being led by CA Senator Ted Gaines (R).