If you haven’t figured it out by now, in America people love Ranch Dressing. Not everyone likes it, but most do. And those that do, they like it a lot. They eat it with everything. And in some households, it’s replaced ketchup as the go-to cover-up condiment for picky child eaters. And, I must say, I think that’s a slight culinary improvement.
But let’s say you’re a typical busy family and you don’t have time to make Ranch Dressing from scratch. And by scratch, I mean from the flavor packet, because let’s be honest, you’re not gonna keep buttermilk around in your refrigerator, right?
So I have a have a helpful tip on how to turn a cheap bottled version of Ranch Dressing into something actually interesting. Now before I begin, even the most numbskull home cook needs an immersion mixer (here’s a cheap, but good one: Proctor-Silex 59738 Hand Blender). You will quickly find that this is the most useful gadget in your kitchen.
So here’s the tip, and frankly I could have told you in the first paragraph but we need to pay the rent here at Gish Gallop.
- 1 Bottle of shitty Ranch Dressing. Note: you can use fancier ones to greater effect, but this is about making your dollar stretch. So it’s perfectly OK to use crap brands.
- 1 Bottle/Jar of Canned/pickled sliced jalapeÃ±os
Take the entire bottle of crappy Ranch Dressing, and dump it into a large mixing bowl or large measuring cup (my favorite). Then add about 5-10 sliced jalapeÃ±o peppers. You can add more or less, but the ranch dressing tends to mute the pepper flavor. I tend to error on more than less, but I would start with less and taste as you go.
Remember, peppers will colonize the flavor of whatever you’re working with quicker than the US Government does with a third world country. So take it easy.
Using your immersion mixer, blend that shit up until all the peppers have been pulverized into the dressing.
That’s it. I have nothing else to say. Enjoy it.