Moscow, Russia — Former Prime Minister and current President of Russia Vladimir Putin is considering outsourcing some government operations to take advantage of cheap gasoline prices in the United States.
With the current oil prices at record lows, President Putin announced yesterday that he would be moving select government operations to the United States in an effort to cut costs, take advantage of cheap gasoline and leverage generous big business tax shelters.
“The obvious reason of the decline in global oil prices is the slowdown in the rate of economic growth, which means energy consumption is being reduced in a whole range of countries. In addition, a political component is always present in oil prices,” Putin said in a press release. “Furthermore, at some moments of a crisis it starts to feel like it is the politics that prevails in the pricing of energy resources. So I am moving select government operations to the United States until global oil prices rise.”
In recent weeks Russia has experienced a significant decrease in the value of its currency, the ruble. The decline has been attributed to economic sanctions which were imposed on the country following its support for Ukrainian rebels, as well as an increase in oil production by the United States and Canada. This has damaged the currency, which is closely tied to Russia’s oil industry. Global oil demand has also slipped.
“In a global and nimble economy, it makes perfect sense to move some of their government operations to the United States,” said Yale University economics Professor James Badwater. “Putin’s no dummy. He’ll save billions by outsourcing to America and create thousands of new jobs in the US.”
Reaction to this news was mixed.
“We could use a little of Putin’s machismo here in America,” said retired local blogger Jack Ripper. “Obama’s got everyone’s panties all bunched up. A presence like Putin might be the kick in the ass this country needs. If only Obama was half as tough as Putin is.”
It is unclear at the time of this writing which ministries President Putin intends on moving to the United States.