London, UK — People in London and all over Europe were saddened today by the news of Cat Stevens passing.
Cat Stevens, also known as Yusuf Islam, also known as Steven Georgiou, is a British singer- songwriter, humanitarian, and activist. Most notably, he walked away from a productive music career to become a humanitarian voice.
“He had become deeply immersed in the huge global cannabis controversy,” stated his personal assistant, August Rose. “In fact, he was scheduled to do several appearances throughout California this week in a plea for voters to get out and vote for legalization of cannabis and that was great because we’re all running pretty low on funds.”
“This is just terrible news for the Stevens Foundation, and the world,” cried foundation chairman, Bella Ruse. “You can just never prepare for this kind of thing. The Stevens Foundation will lie in ruin soon.”
The Stevens Foundation (which we determined consists of 3 people) has had a nearly $1 million yearly budget for the past decade, most of which comes from recording royalties, appearances, and charitable contributions. “Now it’s existence is being threatened by a leaked WikiLeaks photo of Mr. Stevens passing on a blunt at a Clinton campaign party,” moaned Ms. Ruse. “All of the endorsements are gone. Dried up.”
Donna Brazile was overheard to say, “Man, I know what that’s like!”