London, UK — A stunning bombshell was dropped into the unhinged American presidential race today. Reuters Paris reporter, Belda Suave unearthed a video that sheds new light onto the election.
“The video clearly shows Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump having a clandestine meeting in at the Renaissance Hotel in Paris that is dated May 25th, 2015,” started Ms. Suave. “This meeting took place mere weeks before Trump announced he was entering the presidential race. The video also clearly shows the two on very friendly terms, discussing things that will incense many Americans.”
When Gish Gallop asked what exactly the two spoke about in the video, Ms. Suave replied, “The video clearly shows Clinton and Trump belittling Republican leadership, their views, and their policies. It shows the pair actively engaged in forming a plot to destroy the entire Republican Party.”
Gish Gallop asked how and why Clinton and Trump planned to destroy the Republican Party, and when will this video be released to the public?
“The video shows a clear disdain by both candidates for the old and tired rhetoric of the GOP,” answered Ms. Suave. “They both agreed that it is time to progress into the 21st century, not dwell in the past as Republicans always seem to do. Clinton agreed to secretly feed money from the Clinton Foundation to fuel a Trump primary campaign where he would light an inferno under the undereducated republican base and degrade all minority communities, there-by all but crushing the GOP underfoot and causing voters to swiftly move left. As far as the release, we are planning to release the video on Sunday, September 25th, the day prior to the first presidential debate. We are currently shopping the exclusive airing rights to various American news outlets.”