Richard Simmons Releases New Video, “Transitioning To The Oldies”

Rare glimpse of "Fiona" Simmons at a public appearance
Rare glimpse of “Fiona” Simmons at a public appearance

San Francisco, CA — Fitness guru Richard Simmons, best known for his “Sweatin’ to the oldies” workout videos, is transitioning to a woman according to inside sources. Simmons who many feared was in danger of suicide, has not been seen in public for months. He is trying to avoid the type of publicity that accompanied Bruce Jenner’s transition.

Today Simmons announced that he is releasing a new video for other “transitioning” people. It will be titled, Transitioning To The Oldies. The video will feature Simmons showing his transition progress while playing everyone’s favorite hits from the good old days. It will also feature tutorials on make-up and ways to properly hide, well you know, while wearing tight fit clothing.

Gish Gallop spoke with Simmons publicist Dana Barrett about the soon to be released video.

“We are very proud of the video, Richard finally can just be who he was always meant to be,” said Dana. “We hope it helps other people ease the emotional stress of transitioning with great music!”

Dana also told Gish Gallop that Richard will change his name after his transition is complete. He wants to be known as Fiona Simmons. Simmons has yet to make any public appearances and is not expected to until after he becomes Fiona.

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Cleveland Sam
Cleveland Sam, born Sam C. Sharpe, is a hero, a hero to anyone who knows him in Ohio. At the mere age of 7, he rescued a small girl from the clutches of a herd of llamas outside his boyhood home of Cleveland, OH. By the age of 12, he had already rescued over 14 children from near deaths ranging from freak ice cream truck accidents, to drownings in neighbors' Dough Boy Pools. But his heroism didn't stop at youth. No sir. As a teenager, he saved the entire cheerleading squad of his local high school from certain death with their "party van" caught fire during a local "rager." He writes for Gish Gallop because he feels he needs to rescue it. He's probably correct.